Mueller to indict Republican Party at large as colluding with Russia to steal the 2016 election

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Friday, 27 July 2018

image for Mueller to indict Republican Party at large as colluding with Russia to steal the 2016 election
Sketch attributed to Mr. Mueller (found under his plate) while relaxing at a McDonalds in the Washington vicinity

Special counsel Robert Mueller is reported close to another indictment—of the entire Republican Party as well as Mr. Trump.

The indictment will name every verifiable Republican-associated official and party representative in 2016.

Republican voters at large have not yet been indicted.

Indictment pages will swell to accommodate the sixty million plus supporters who voted for Mr. Trump, when this happens.

Mr. Mueller's Case:

Indications which send a chill along the collective American spine:

*Guccifer 2.0 fan clubs (especially in middle states) have flickered to life again following Mr. Mueller’s July 13, 2018 indictments.

(Guccifer 2.0 is the spy operative who according to Mr. Mueller hacked vulnerable DNC, Podesta, and Clinton email accounts.)

(Guccifer 2.0 may also be an American working for a DNC intelligence agency employed by Ms. Clinton, according to various skeptical analyses on this matter.)

*Guccifer 2.0 became a hero in 2016 to some partisans of Mr. Trump, similar to development of the Don Quixote mask with the Occupy Movement.

*A Guccifer 2.0 mask resembling Groucho Marx has been seen in middle states territory particularly.

*The Blue Guccifer 2.0 Barbecue and Spare Ribs Gourmet Restaurant, opening briefly in Kansas in 2017, has drawn a raised Mueller eyebrow.

*Guccifer 2.0 video games, featuring a warrior Trump in loin cloth fighting squadrons of female militants resembling Hillary Clinton have been very popular.

*The Blue Guccifer Swimming Hole, a saloon in Colorado has mostly drawn Republican customers.

*Facebook, Twitter, and other social media are reported eager to assist to identify Trump (Putin) sympathizers and voters/supporters.

*Metadata detection devices as with the logical syllogism: “If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it probably is a duck” are being applied to these occurrences.


*Mr. Putin has been seen wearing a Guccifer 2.0 baseball cap, with Russian alphabet across its forehead translated at—Hack Hillary Forever!

*Mr. Putin has responded to Mr. Trump’s invitation with he wouldn’t mind visiting the United States.

(In the past, Mr. Putin has revealed he would like to tour the United States to visit various sites, such as The Grand Canyon and farm country.)

*This acceptance of the Trump invitation = prima facie evidence Putin is masking his intention to insert himself into American communities.

Mr. Mueller's Conclusion:

To defeat Ms. Clinton, The Republican Party--beyond the shadow of a doubt, or even a hairline crack of a doubt--has colluded with Mr. Putin.

This is the central thrust in the forthcoming indictment targeting Republicans-at-large.

Asked to respond to this report, Mr. Comey replied:

“Exactly! And this is why the other day I said anyone voting Republican is anti-American!”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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