It was a dark and stormy night. Donald Treetrunk brought his fishing boat into the dock in the port harbor in the tiny country of Martinique. His first mate Mike Pinch gamely jumped onto the dock to tie off the boat. A portly fisherman named Rudy took out a wad of francs, and counted out the days account.
"C-cccan I go to the Treetrunk Tower for a drink, boss!" stammered Pinch, "I-I-I'm startin' to get the shakes."
"Yeah, Mikey, knock-off, make like you're in Indiana," joked Treetrunk.
"Rudy, make sure you include another 200. for that reel you lost, you're supposed to put them on the rod before you cast!" leered Treetrunk, "You nearly hit a fish with it."
"That is the way we fish in Lichtenstein," said Rudy handing over the extra 200.
"Do it again and get ready to swim back. There aren't enough fishing reels in Martinique."
"Say, Mister," say Mike Pinch, "WOULD you get stung by a dead bee?"
"What?" asked Rudy, "I've never been stung by a bee."
"WOULDN'T you?" asked Pinch.
"No, I WOULD NOT!" yelled Rudy.
"You WOULD if the bee is angry when it dies," said Mike, "I've been stung lots of times."
Later that afternoon, at the Treetrunk Tower, Treetrunk walked in the door marked "would", which was right next to the door marked "wouldn't".
"Buy a girl a drink?" said a red head at the bar.
"Sure slim, got a light?" asked Treetrunk.
"I would if I had a lighter," said Slim, "But I wouldn't like it, so I'm glad I don't."
"I would like to forget you said that," said Treetrunk
"You won't and I wouldn't," said Slim.
"Will I see you later, would I?" asked Treetrunk.
"I wouldn't get your hopes up," said Slim walking up to a large French soldier and asking him to dance with immediate success. She waved to Treetrunk over his shoulder.