Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 18 July 2018

image for Millipede With 1,000 Legs Found
Nature - such diversity!

In the very first case of its kind, a man in Battambang has discovered a millipede that actually has what its name suggests it should have - 1,000 legs!

Moys Kenwood, 55, was in his bathroom taking a dump, when a chance glance at the floor, mid-crap, revealed the ugly, squirmy, little brown beast literally two feet from where he was sitting! He quickly finished what he was doing, then 'lured' the millipede onto a wooden stick that he found outside, and research began!

Kenwood wanted to know if the millipede's name was accurate; more specifically, did it really have 1,000 legs? There was only one way to find out - he got his wife to count them! Mrs Kenwood was summoned from some unimportant task she was occupied with, and she got busy.

Whilst she was doing that, Kenwood started looking for information on the internet which might help in their research. He was able to establish that millipedes do not have 1,000 legs, and that the record of 750 legs belongs to something horrible called Illacme plenipes. Despite this, he urged Mrs Kenwood to be absolutely clinical with her counting.

As the day wore on, he began to feel more and more confident that this particular specimen was going to be the one, the magical 1,000! And, just after 3pm, his wife announced that there were, indeed, 1,000 legs on their subject!

Kenwood was ecstatic!. After requesting his wife to do a quick recount - which only confirmed her earlier calculation - the millipede was squashed, and tossed out into the garden where it belonged.


* NOTE: The word 'millipede' actually means '1,000 feet', not '1,000 legs', but so what?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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