The Great White Id

Funny story written by Matt Birkenhauer

Wednesday, 11 July 2018

image for The Great White Id


Daily watch the Great White Id
Huffing and puffing away.
He’ll gladly tell you what he did
To madly disrupt your day.

He tweets his Id thoughts from his Throne—
His petty gripes and “So unfairs!”
Civility he now bemoans
And offers us instead despair.

His Little Ids feed off his spew
And swallow every lie he tweets.
His policies the poor now screws—
(The same who sport their clean white sheets.)

He flares up like a burning cross.
His Little Ids chime in—
“Look her up! Pocahontas--“
He feeds their angry daimon.

He’s certain that (except for his base)
The “mainstream” media hates him.
So cynically he uses race
To stoke his base’s venom.

To scapegoat is his special grift--
Aimed at the brown-skinned “infestation.”
He crows to set in stone our rift
And heighten confrontation.

Of children Trump can shed a tear
When gassed in time of war.
But let endangered children near--
He’ll ban them from our border.

Or put them in a nice steel cage
And arrest their frightened parents,
To satisfy his base’s rage
With policies abhorrent.


“The State, that’s me!” said one dead King
The Great White Id never heard of.
He thinks it might be Martin . . . something?
(Though it’s a quote he does approve of.)

As for the other famous King,
He pays lip service to his dream,
While cheering on his far-right wing
Whose eyes with hate are all agleam.

The Old World Order he’ll remake
To Make America Great Again.
And NATO now he’ll relegate
To Putin’s hegemonic plan.

About the realm of science,
He knows not what he knows.
But scientists he’ll silence
Whom lobbyists oppose.

“Climate change is bunk!” he cries.
(His Little Ids fall right in line.)
For short-term profit, he’ll devise
Our planet’s dirty, hot decline.

Daily watch the Great White Id
Huffing and puffing away.
He’ll gladly tell you what he did--
His ignorance on full display.


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more