Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 13 July 2018

image for England Still Have Everything To Play For
The next cup England players will be picking up

England manager Gareth Southgate knows that he has a tricky job on his hands to raise his troops for tomorrow's game with Belgium, but has buoyed them with the rallying call that:

Everything is still to play for -
except for the World Cup, that is.

England lost 1-0 to the stylish Belgians during the group stage, but, both teams having already qualified for the last 16, that game, in reality, meant absolutely nothing - just like this game.

The reward for victory in this match will be the dubious accolade of finishing third in a competition that was already missing Italy and Holland from the very beginning, and quickly lost Germany, Portugal, Spain, Argentina and then Brazil in quick succession, to leave the tournament feeling a bit like the Auto Windscreens Shield - or, one that nobody gives a crap about.

England will be well-supported in the stadium, with many of the fans from the Croatia semi-final loss having delayed their return to England to cheer the Three Lions on. Enthusiasm is at fever pitch. One fan said:

"I hope we win."

Another droned:

"What time does our flight leave?"

A third was a little more philosophical, remarking:

"I can't wait to get home for a good cup of tea and some chips."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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