Local Pie Thief located, killed in violent shootout

Written by Templeton T. Rat

Monday, 9 July 2018

After weeks of investigation local man Lawerance Oddert, father of three, was killed in a violent shootout with police after stealing a pie that was cooling on old Miss Tennanbaums window sill. The police first started suspecting Oddert when he refused dessert at the local picnic the same day the crime occurred, saying he was “stuffed”.

“That just seemed flimsy to me” says Officer Braggart who attended the picnic.

“He only had two cheeseburgers, a hot dog and some potato salad, hardly a meal that would make one stuffed.”

When police arrived at his home that evening with a warrant they discovered an empty pie tin with cherry residue inside.

“No doubt it was our pie.” Says forensic expert Arthur Talbot “the cherries genetically matched the ones from Miss Tenenbaums garden exactly.”

After being accused the suspect proceeded to resist arrest and drew what was believed to be a .44 Magnum on the officers, which was later revealed to be his asthma inhaler, where he was then shot over 33 times by the arresting officers
“a real shame but he did not want to pay the $60 dollar fine and we felt our lives was threatened”

Local conspiracy groups believe the police officers planted the pie after eating it themselves and used the shooting to cover their corruption.

Miss Tenenbaum is doing well and still making her old fashioned pies.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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