Where are they now? Winston Bogarde, "Footballer"

Funny story written by Paxton Quigley

Thursday, 19 July 2018

image for Where are they now? Winston Bogarde, "Footballer"
Winston ready for matchday

Don't you just love this man? Well, maybe you haven't heard of him, unlike the Chelsea football fans to whom he is notorious, although they barely saw him. He had the most infamous contract in football.

Our Dutch hero played for Ajax until 1998 when he signed for Barcelona, so he wasn't half bad, and played for Barça 19 times while they won La Liga and the Copa del Rey.

On the advice of compatriot Mario Melchiot, Winnie signed for Chelsea who gave the Netherlands centre half a four-year contract worth £10m when he moved to London on a free transfer in July 2000.

In his first season 2000-1 Winnie played eleven games, not bad these days for a squad player not quite up to regular first team appearances. He stayed at Chelsea for a further three seasons and managed to accrue one, yes one, more appearance as a substitute in a League Cup tie against Gillingham on Wednesday, 6th November, 2002.

Chelsea tried hard to get rid of our Winston in that three year period. They banished him from the first team squad and put him to train with the youth team. Never short of ambition, what was Winnie's response? "I am quite happy collecting my £40,000 every week" so Bogarde spent his final season commuting from Osdorperweg, catching the early flight into Heathrow and training with the boys at Harlington.

Surprisingly Winnie couldn't find a club after that and so he turned to business.

He bought and sold a hugely successful music company, gave up on a coaching career, closed his gaming club after a gangland murder and was finally thrown out of his £3.2million home on the outskirts of Amsterdam.

No idea where you are now, Winston, but we Arsenal fans still love you.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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