Cristiano Ronaldo Scores Seventh Hat-trick In As Many Games

Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 29 January 2020

image for Cristiano Ronaldo Scores Seventh Hat-trick In As Many Games
No! No! No!

Former Manchester United star, Cristiano Ronaldo, is tearing up the record books in Italy, where, on Sunday, he scored three goals in a match for the seventh consecutive game, Juventus losing 2-1 to Napoli.

Last week, Juventus beat Roma 3-1 to to reach the semi-finals of the Coppa Italia, with Ronaldo netting all three.

The previous weekend, they had beat fourth-placed Parma 3-1, to retain their top spot in Serie A, the Portuguese striker again scoring each of his side's goals.

Ronaldo, 34, has recently made it his business to score all of Juventus' goals, and steadfastly refuses to let anyone else score.

If any of his team-mates looks as if they are going to score, Ronaldo throws his arms up into the air, twists his body in mock agony, contorts his face, and hits the turf like a falling tree, claiming a penalty, which, if given, he then takes.

A hat-trick is not a trick done with a hat.

Some of the above is true.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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