New York Man Realizes He Has No Potential

Written by Chrissy Benson

Thursday, 26 March 2020

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As someone with little, if any, potential, Calvin Doyle is amazed he’s made it this far.

“I always felt bad about myself for not realizing my full potential,” said Calvin Doyle of Brooklyn, New York. “But then I realized that I probably had – there just wasn’t much to realize. Hardly anything, in fact.”

According to Doyle, the realization that his potential had, all long, been virtually nonexistent, has been extremely freeing. “No more pressure trying to ‘manifest’ or think positive,” he said. “No, I haven’t gotten anywhere in life, but it turns out there was nowhere to get. At least for me.”

Doyle added that, given his innate lack of potential, it is actually quite impressive that he’s even managed to hold down a job for extended periods of time and, occasionally, even to pay the bills. “Not too shabby,” he said.

As for his plans for the future, Doyle says that the sky’s the limit. “Honestly, I’m amazed to have made it this far. Anything else that happens from here on out is icing on the cake.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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