Manchester United Boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Wants To Be Kept On 'In Some Capacity'

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 9 January 2020

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Solskjaer: maybe someone could sit on him

Beleaguered Manchester United boss, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, knows it is just a matter of time before he loses his job at the club, but says he loves being around Old Trafford, and would appreciate being kept on "in some capacity".

The Norwegian, 46, who was placed in temporary charge of United in late 2018, and was made permanent in March 2019, made a good start to the appointment, winning fourteen of his first nineteen matches in charge. This season, however, has found 'the Baby-faced Assassin' wanting, and fans now regularly boo him onto and off the pitch, and all through games.

Even his neighbours boo him when they see him arrive home.

Solskjaer knows about fickleness, however, and remembers well how United fans were crying out for Sir Alex Ferguson to be sacked way back in the dark days of December 1989. He said:

"The fans may think that I'm a useless divot, and well out of my depth right now, but there are other things I can do to be useful around the club."

At first glance, there seem to be various positions that might suit a man of Solskjaer's calibre and experience.

Cleaning players' boots, for example, although many would question his fitness to carry out this task. Kit laundry might suit, however.

If neither of these appeal, Ole might like to make the tea for the board of directors during meetings.

He said:

"I belong here. I feel like a piece of the furniture. Please let me stay!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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