Coronavirus food shortages leads to Brits eating horse meat

Written by Dewani Unhatched

Monday, 9 March 2020

image for Coronavirus food shortages leads to Brits eating horse meat

Food shortages in the UK have led to supermarkets and butchers resorting to selling horse meat, as stockpiles of beef, pork and chicken are diminished by panic-buying Brits.

Many shoppers are confessing that they actually enjoy the taste of horses, with many even admitting that they couldn't tell the difference between, beef, horse, goat, pork or even chicken, especially when minced and covered in sauces, spices, and cheese.

So popular has become horse meat, a new fast-food chain, Mr. Eds, has opened in several British cities, serving up tasty snacks such as foal burger, deep-fried, and beer-battered pony and, for those on a budget, donkey kebabs.

"It all tastes the same to me," said Tatty Mullett of Hull. "I mean, if I hadn't have known, I would have never guessed that my frozen lasagne, burgers, and pies had horse meat in them. It tastes pretty good to me, to be perfectly honest."

Mr. Ed franchise owner, Doug Osmond, is confident that his new chain of restaurants will be a hit.

"For a start, it is cheaper and full of nutrition, and it is a 'stable' food."

However, not everyone is happy.

Greg Hope, who purchased a happy meal for his kids, which consisted of 5 stallion nuggets, made from the carcasses of dead racehorses, says he was disappointed.

"When I got home, I opened the box up...and...they were off! I had a a dinner party, and I needed a starter for ten. I felt like a bit of an ass."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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