Dyslexic man contracts new virus

Written by Dewani Unhatched

Wednesday, 18 March 2020

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Tatty 'Woods' Mullett

A Hull man has been struck down with a new strain of coronavirus after working in Thailand.

Tatty Mullett, 56 was stood nearby an 81-year-old carrier of the deadly SARS-like infection. Officials have confirmed the man caught the virus after his brief encounter with an infected woman.

"I'm dyslexic, which is bad enough, but now I have this Racoon virus," said Mullett, as he wiped away tears. "I guess I have no choice but to make my peace with Dog. Life has just given me melons. It is so sad, dyslexics are teople poo. When I was a kid my English teacher in school always used to insult my grammar. Which wasn’t fair, as he'd never even met her."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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