IRS has local man puzzled

Funny story written by Dewani Unhatched

Friday, 6 March 2020

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A Shreveport man is claiming that the Internal Revenue Service is sending him mixed signals regarding both his 2018 and 2019 tax returns. Tatty Mullett, 38, a broad-shouldered man with a back akin to a sturdy oak, relayed two conversations he had had with the Government agency to gathered reporters.

"First of all, they tell me that my 2018 tax return is outstanding. Obviously, I thanked them, and told them I appreciated the feedback. To receive praise like that is really something. Especially as I don't even remember sending it in."

Sadly though, Mullett's joy was short-lived. The perplexed man explained:

"So, another guy gets on the phone, from the IRS also, says I owe them money, taxes," said Mullett. "How much I owe? I asked. 'You gotta figure that,' he (the IRS dude) told me. Well, that kinda threw me, so I say 'can I pay just what I want?' 'No,' says the guy. 'We know exactly how much you owe. But you have to guess that number.'" Mullet pauses as he looks skywards and shakes his head. "So I say, 'what if I get it wrong?', and the guy replies, 'then, sir, you go to prison.' I mean, what the fuck? It just doesn't make sense."

This reporter tried to reach out to the IRS for comment, but eventually gave up after waiting on hold for several days.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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