Irish Americans to toast St Patricks Day by celebrating terrorism

Written by Dewani Unhatched

Saturday, 7 March 2020

image for Irish Americans to toast St Patricks Day by celebrating terrorism
An Airey Neave, on the rocks, please.

Irish Americans will once again celebrate St Patrick's Day, dressed in green, claiming to 'have a Great Great Grandfather, who knew a guy from Ireland', and insult true Irish people everywhere by downing 'Irish Car Bomb' drinks, totally unaware and oblivious to the fact that the worst terror attack in the Republic of Ireland, occurred in Dublin in 1974, when 27 people were slaughtered, due to a car bomb.

Enraged bar owners in Dublin have now decided to counter the 'offensive drink' by introducing several drinks of their own.

Sean Mullens, landlord of the Bay Horse, says he is introducing new drinks, especially for so-called 'Irish Americans' who visit his pub.

"The next time some American twat walks into my bar asking for an Irish car bomb, I will tell him we are all out. Instead, I will offer him a Pearl Harbor Tonic, which consists of saki, coke and a surprise ingredient you won't see coming until it is too late, or a Twin Tower Daiquiri, that is mixed with araq, cider, and pineapple, which I assure you, after two or three, will have the goon toppling over!"

Despite the offensive sounding drink, greedy bar owners and stupid patrons will once again, this year, toast the Irish by drinking a drink named after terrorism and murder, that killed and maimed Irish men, women, and children throughout both Northern and Southern Ireland, but who cares, eh? Tossers.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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