Overzealous UK Police Launch Operation Powertrip

Funny story written by Dewani Unhatched

Tuesday, 31 March 2020

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Community Policing - 2020

Assistant Commissioner Neil Basu demanded that officers maintain the British tradition of 'policing by consent', despite launching 'Operation Powertrip', the plan that calls for the harassment of joggers and easter egg shoppers, and the random shooting of fell walkers and hikers.

Police officers will don riot gear and assault members of the public at random, turning British streets into 'Rivers of Blood'.

“Not only will we control the cities and towns with tear gas and batons, but we hope to terrorize cyclists and dogwalkers mentally as well, by setting traps on bike paths and shooting on-sight, labradors, poodles and those little dogs that yap all day...with crossbow bolts," said one officer.

Senior counter-terror officer, Neil Basu, had warned police against 'overzealous' enforcing of coronavirus lockdown, saying their conduct will be remembered for generations, but did a U-turn when he realized the vast amount of the British public were utter morons and deserved to be 'beaten to a bloody pulp".

"Everyone in policing is acutely aware that how we police this pandemic will be remembered for many years to come. So, bring it on, is what I say...bring it on!"

Downing Street said police officers should use 'their own discretion' in enforcing the coronavirus lockdown measures - but the PM's spokesman added: 'If they want to give a scumbag or ethnic or even a pikey a damn good kicking, then that is okay by us."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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