Self-Isolating 50-Year-Old Bachelor Reflects On Life

Written by Dewani Unhatched

Tuesday, 31 March 2020

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It really has been a wonderful life

Self-isolating Blackpool bachelor, John Hunt, 50, is dwelling and reflecting on his past, according to reports emanating from the northern seaside town. Hunt, who lives alone, is nostalgically reflecting on happier times, such as when he was a member of the cub scouts. He went camping once, and had a go at 'bob-a-job week'. That was fun.

Another time, he went to Preston. On a train. Great memories! And, of course, there was that time he decorated his flat. Other fun times include renting the movie 'The Dam Busters', ordering fish, chips, mushy peas, AND a saveloy, and, of course, masturbating during 'Countdown' whilst fantasizing about Carol Vorderman. Every day.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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