There were 259 spoof news stories published in June 2019. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Vladimir Putin Disables Theresa May With Handshake And A Kiss
There was real drama on an international scale on Friday night, as Russian president, Vladimir Putin, immobilized British outgoing prime minister, Theresa May, with his infamous 'Silesian handshake'. The two were meeting for the first time in year...
Read full storyTrump Declares War On Iran: Sidewinder Missiles Take Out Camel Caravan
BILLINGSGATE POST: In an extreme example of asymmetric warfare, President Trump retaliated against Iran for attacks on oil tankers in the Persian Gulf by unleashing a barrage of Sidewinder Missiles this morning. Early satellite photos show camel bod...
Read full storyGirl Had Six Toes
A teacher in a school in Bangkok had the fright of his life recently when, listening intently to what a girl standing by the side of his desk was saying, and looking downward so as to focus his concentration on her words, he became aware that she had...
Read full storyEurotrash Returns To Screens In Bid To Reverse Brexit Vote
In what is being seen as a last-ditch attempt to usurp democracy, and deny the voting public its victory at the polls, the government has ordered TV reruns of the 1990s show 'Eurotrash', in a bid to change people's minds about Europe. Hosted by th...
Read full storyWhere are they now? Sexy Nurses' Uniforms
Once upon a time being an inpatient, outpatient or visitor to hospital had its upside. I'm talking of course about those nurses in their candy-striped little uniforms with their starched white aprons and their tiny lace hats perched on top of their p...
Read full storyWhere are they now? Dodgy 1970s Drinks
Snowball. Rum and black. Port and lemon. Cinzano and lemonade. The list is endless, but here at The Spoof we mourn the passing of some of our favourite 1970s booze - but not all. Snakebite. A snakebite is traditionally made with equal parts of lag...
Read full storyLiverpool Plastic Fans Scheme Membership Soars
Liverpool Football Club have released details of their new Plastic Fans Scheme, and say advance enquiries have caught their Anfield administration department on the hop. Fresh from their Champions League success, and a brilliant Premier League cam...
Read full storyEuropean Heatwave: Woman Fries Egg On Her Husband's Baldpatch
Uncommonly hot weather has seen temperatures in Europe soar this week, and, to illustrate just how hot it was, a woman in the Spanish capital of Barcelona fried an egg on the bald part of her husband's head. Ernesto Valdez, 58, told his wife repea...
Read full storyMan In Potato Chips Advert Was Wearing Far Too Much Lipstick
A male actor in a TV advertisement for some potato chips, was wearing an extraordinary amount of lipstick, leading one viewer to think, not unreasonably, that the man might have been a homosexual. The chips, Jacks, a product by Calbee, are delicio...
Read full storyTiananmen Square Tank Man's Identity Now Established
The image was iconic, the pose defiant, the mood melancholy, and the regime oppressive. The time was 1989, and the place, Tiananmen Square, in Beijing, China. Until now, the identity of the brave man standing up to the Chinese authorities has remaine...
Read full storyPresident Trump To Undergo Aversion Therapy, Like Alex Did In 'A Clockwork Orange'
In a last-ditch attempt to modify his behavior, and curb his violent nature, President Trump will undergo 'Aversion Therapy' of the kind young hoodlum Alex underwent in Stanley Kubrick's 1971 film 'A Clockwork Orange'. Even before his threat yeste...
Read full storyOprah Winfrey To Interview Jussie Smollett In TV Special
Oprah Winfrey is to interview former Empire actor Jussie Smollett in a TV Special which will be broadcast live on air on her OWN channel this Sunday evening at 8pm. Smollett is the man who has been accused of staging a bogus attack on himself, whi...
Read full storyRalph E. Shaffer Is 89 Today
Ralph E. Shaffer, the well-known writer of satire on satirical news website, TheSpoof.com, celebrates his birthday today. He's 89, and will be for the next 364 days. Ralph might live in Issaquah, Washington, but then again, he might not. The...
Read full storyMichael Gove Says Taking 'Class A' Drugs Should Not Prevent Him From Being Prime Minister
Michael Gove, one of eleven Conservative MPs vying for the job of party leader, has said that the fact that he "took cocaine on several occasions more than 20 years ago" should not affect his bid to become Britain's prime minister. Gove, ironicall...
Read full storyUS Cigarette Production Goes Into Overdrive
US manufacturers of cigarettes have said that thousands of new jobs will soon be available, after it was announced, yesterday, that e-cigarettes were to be outlawed in San Francisco. Cigarette manufacturers immediately began advertizing for staff...
Read full storyBTS Band Members Subjected To Racist Abuse By Angry Fans Who Mistook Them For Asian Immigrants
Racist tendencies showed themselves again at the weekend, when several members of Korean supergroup, BTS, were barracked and insulted before their concert at Wembley Stadium in front of 60,000 screaming fans. Trouble flared when the band members w...
Read full story1924 Volvo BlueRinse - A Return of an old favourite
Inital Impressions Based largely on a 1970s Volvo, the BlueRinse version is geared specifically at rich Tory supporters. It comes complete with looped Churchill recordings and a unique anti-darky system that deliberately avoids any petrol station...
Read full storyBeyonce Knowles Fan Club Average Age Now 11
A man who read a news report about Nicole Curran, the wife of the owner of a basketball team, and the online abuse she received from Beyonce fans after it was perceived that Curran had been rude to the singer, has invited the childish morons to direc...
Read full storyTrump: “I will liberate Iran with Big Mac and Coca Cola”
White House, Washington: Donald Trump will be going to war with Iran, in order to improve the dining facilities for ordinary Iranians. “I say, do you hear me? I say this!” “Nobody, but nobody, beats America with Big Mac and Coke!” “So many...
Read full storyBoris Johnson Has Fucking Big Row With Girlfriend
The new Tory leader-elect, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, has had a steaming, great fucking row with his girlfriend, Carrie Symonds, at her London home, say neighbours. Johnson and Symonds were said to be arguing like 'cat and dog' during the...
Read full storyTrump Says Iran "Unlucky", And Blames Luke Rhinehart's Book
President Donald Trump has said that Iran was just "unlucky" having had war declared upon itself by the US, and, had he rolled anything other than a 6, might have escaped the coming conflict, but that's just how the cookie crumbles. Trump was twee...
Read full storyThe Feudal Reserve to print in blood
Sleepy Hallow, Connecticut - Chairman of the Feudal Reserve, Graat “The Shark” White, held a small press conference here today to announce a plan to save on ink used for printing currency. “We only profit from the value of the money we print, b...
Read full storyMan Decides To Become A Qualified Accountant, But Then...
Aimlessly perusing an online news website, this morning, a man was confronted with an advertisement that invited him to become a Qualified Accountant, so he decided he would look further into the lucrative prospect. Moys Kenwood, 55, quickly cli...
Read full storyTommy Robinson Converts To Islam
In a move which has startled many of his most committed followers on Facebook, the activist and political operative, Tommy Robinson, has announced he has converted to Islam. Robinson, also known as Andrew McMaster, Paul Harris, Wayne King, and Ste...
Read full storyBlack Death On Its Way Back
The Black Death, the devastating pandemic that struck terror into countries all across the continents of Asia and Europe during the fourteenth century, killing around 100million people, is back amongst us, and set to take its toll once more. This…
Read full storyMan's Shoes Are Indestructible
A pair of cheap shoes bought at a market almost twenty years ago have lasted much longer than their owner expected them to, it's been revealed. The pair of rubberized, slip-on-style beach shoes cost only 99 Baht when purchased at Bangkok's Chatuch...
Read full storyMan Executes Mosquito
A man, sat minding his own business, and not being a bother to anybody, was the victim of a bloody attack last night, and was forced to carry out an execution. Moys Kenwood, 55, was sitting in his chair, typing out a spoof story on his telephone,...
Read full storyGecko Eaten By Army Of Ants
In what's being treated by police here as a complete non-event, a gecko found on the floor of a house in southeast Asia, had been so thoroughly nibbled at by ants, that all that was left of it was its skeleton! The gecko - or lizard, as the specie...
Read full storyChinese 'Tank Man' To Appear On The Late Show From Behind A Screen
The mysterious 'Tank Man' of Tiananman Square, the man who singlehandedly stood up to the murderous Chinese authorities during the 1989 Beijing uprising and massacre, is to appear on Wednesday night's edition of 'The Late Show' with Stephen Colbert -...
Read full storyDonald Trump Makes The Queen Sick
US President Donald Trump enjoyed a state banquet at Buckingham Palace tonight as the guest of HRH Queen Elizabeth, but rumour has it that the American was "a bit too much" for the Queen, and she had to adjourn to the lavatory on several occasions.
Read full storyTrump Threatens to Send Scientists That Talk About Global Warming to Jail for Spreading Fake News
Mar-A-Lago, Florida President Trump, in an impromptu press conference on his golf course's 5th hole, talked about what a nice sunny day it was, but it was still cold at the North and South Pole. The President then stated that the cold weather proved...
Read full storyFather's Day Card In Card Shop Window Raised Questions
A man wandering aimlessly past a card shop window during his break, saw a card which made him double-take, then triple-take, tut, shake his head as he became incredulous, and then walk away thinking "fucking silly cunts!" Moys Kenwood, 51, noticed...
Read full storyAngela Merkel's Head Melts
There was drama in Germany today, during some abnormally hot weather, when Chancellor Angela Merkel was taken to hospital when her head melted. Merkel, 64, was standing next to Ukraine president Volodymyr Zelensky in Berlin, listening to the two c...
Read full storyWise Old Owl Asks Farmer What Gay Pride Is All About
There was once a farmer who lived on a farm. The farm had an old barn, and in the barn, a wise old owl used to spend his evenings watching and listening for mice, so that he could enjoy one for his supper. The farmer's name was Brian Farmer. He li...
Read full storyTheologian Comes Up with Brilliant New Rationalization for Why God Doesn't Answer Prayers
To the relief of many determined to believe in God, despite the lack of evidence of any participatory deity who intervenes in any noticeable way in the workings of the human world, Christian theologian Dr. Mortimer Lane of Nashville, Tennessee, has o...
Read full storyNew York and the Truth About the Mueller Report. “It’s Up To YOU New York…”
Ah, Robert Mueller. Up until now, he’s been the focus of many as “a savior”. Hardworking and diligent, a believer in justice with no desire for fame or fortune and who, up until recently, never said a word about his investigation. Here’s what h...
Read full storyFootball Season In 'Delay' Shock
It's been revealed by sources close to the game, that the traditional start to the football season may be delayed by "as much as two weeks" due, it's claimed, to "circumstances beyond our control". It's not yet clear what the circumstances are tha...
Read full storyChemistry Weekly Round-Up
It's been an exciting week in the world of Chemistry, with several things happening and several things not. A schoolboy in a Science lesson in Braintree in Essex, mixed some magnesium phosphate with a test tube of potassium permanganate, and cause...
Read full storyFootball Gossip: Maureen's Friends(?), Solskjaer Sweet Shop, Braintree Town "WTF?"
Former Manchester United goalkeeper Anders Lindegaard says David Moyes replacing Sir Alex Ferguson at Old Trafford was like "charging an iPhone with a Nokia charger" whereas the appointment of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer was like "letting a three-year-old l...
Read full storyLongest Day Is Good News For Little Pigs
The Longest Day, that annual feast that celebrates having more time to do stuff during daylight than on any of the other 364 days, has arrived once again! Known by people in times gone by as 'the Longest Day', the Longest Day can be as much as 1 m...
Read full storyGlastonbury Fans Say They'll Want A Refund If It Doesn't Turn Into A Quagmire
Music fans have begun arriving at Glastonbury for the annual feast of music that usually turns into a mudbath due to seasonal rainstorms, but there is already unrest, after several visitors said they would be seeking a refund if the weather stayed fi...
Read full storyDairy Industry Explains that What It Does to Bulls Is Totally Different from Bestiality
"It's not even in the same realm as bestiality," said Larry Wells, CEO of Vermont-based organic dairy company Wholesome Secretions, Inc., regarding the dairy industry practice of stimulating bulls' penises to collect the semen used to artificially in...
Read full storyLewis Hamilton Speaks Out About Terrible Driving Standards
We all know that driving a car can be dangerous, but now even motor racing's Lewis Hamilton has spoken out on the subject, saying he is disgusted at some of the things he's seen on the roads, especially abroad. Hamilton, who drives for the Mercede...
Read full storyTory Leadership Race To Be Decided In Strictly Come Dancing Dance-off
As Boris Johnson attempts to shake off the challenges of his fellow Tory MPs, Jeremy Hunt, and Michael Gove, news has emerged from 10 Downing Street that the winner from the 'final three' will be decided by the nation in a Strictly Come Dancing dance...
Read full storyJo Brand Rejects 'Battery Acid' Criticism
Comedienne, Jo Brand, has rejected criticism of a joke she made about battery acid, by asserting that she drinks a glass of it every morning for breakfast, and it's never done her any harm. Brand was appearing on BBC Radio 4's 'Heresy' show hosted...
Read full storyDemocratic Voters Impressed with Candidates' Dislike of Trump and Opposition to Climate Change
In the first two of what promises to be a vibrant and dynamic series of debates among those vying for the Democratic presidential nomination, candidates did not shy away from addressing such critical issues as which of them most disliked President Do...
Read full storyMan Says There's No Scientific Basis Behind 'She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not'
A man who knows about stuff like this, has said there is absolutely no scientific basis whatsoever behind the ages-old petal-pulling decision-making theory of "She loves me, she loves me not..." The practice of pulling individual petals from a...
Read full storyHull City The Only Football League Team Whose Name Has No Letters To Colour In
Championship football team, Hull City, have been confirmed as the only side in the entire Football League whose name has no letters in it to colour in. This applies whether the name is written in upper or lower case characters. The news emerged...
Read full storyRepublican Congresswoman Outraged at Separation of Non-Immigrant Baby Cows from Their Mothers
"It's an outrage," said neoconservative congresswoman Nancy Hartwright of Oklahoma City regarding the dairy industry's practice of separating native-born baby cows from their American mothers shortly after birth. "This is something that should happen...
Read full storyMan Was Left Aghast At Schiphol Airport Signage
A wearied transit passenger waiting patiently for an onward flight at Amsterdam's Schiphol Airport, has told of how he was left "aghast" after reading a sign informing travellers: U kunt hier wachten voor ass Moys Kenwood, 55, was travelling fr...
Read full storyClimate Change Deniers Join Forces with 9/11 Truth Deniers to Empower People to Think Beyond Science
In what many have called the age of movements, two seemingly disparate groups, climate change deniers and 9/11 truth deniers, have united to further their shared aim of empowering citizens to think beyond the limits of science and promulgate their o...
Read full storyIran Retaliates By Asking People To Remove Sandals
President Donald Trump may have 'bitten off more than he can chew' this time, after news emerged from inside Iran that the regime there had encouraged Iranian nationals - and other Arab sympathizers - to remove their sandals as a reaction to US aggre...
Read full storyChina Plans 'Open Discussion' With Hong Kong Protesters
Protesters who have surrounded the central police headquarters in Hong Kong "will get to air their views, and a satisfactory solution will be reached", say the oppressive and deadly authorities in China. The protesters have been calling for an ext...
Read full storyTrump Threatens China With Wall
President Donald Trump isn't one to shy away from a contentious issue, and his tariff war with China has now reached the stage where he feels it is necessary to put his stamp of authority on the situation. Trump has now threatened Beijing that, if...
Read full storyUber brings service to Havana, Cuba
Uber is taking a significant step this week in its effort to build out its transportation-on-demand business in Havana, Cuba. Cuba is the biggest ride-hailing market in the Caribbean. "We are tired of riding donkeys all day, and Uber came to ou...
Read full storyThai Boxing On TV Was Brutal
An afternoon spent watching Thai boxing on television, on Sunday, left one viewer wondering whether the 'sport' wasn't the most brutalest thing he'd ever seen in his entire life. Thai boxing - or muay Thai - is unlike traditional boxing, in that k...
Read full story1980s Canadian Plot To Take Over United States Uncovered
Today Canadian officials sheepishly admitted to a plot to take over the United States by slowly causing Americans' health to fail. Knowing the state of American healthcare, the idea was to overload the system with bad backs, knees and ankles. How?...
Read full storyDogs To Be Trained To Pick Up Their Own Turds
After complaints from numerous members of the public that dog owners are not obeying the law with regard to their dogs' faecal waste, and are not properly disposing of their droppings, an East Yorkshire council has decided to introduce a new scheme w...
Read full storyRacist TV Shows To Make Comeback Under Boris Johnson
As the Conservative Party leadership race starts to get on your tits, sources inside the party have said that, should Boris Johnson be successful, TV viewers can look forward to a whole swathe of racist and homophobic shows that had been, hitherto, s...
Read full storyCharles Manson's Ghost Admits Gruesome Murders, But "It Was A Long Time Ago"
Charles Manson, who died in 2017, having spent 45 years in prison for, amongst other things, 7 counts of first-degree murder, and one of conspiracy to murder, but who always denied having committed the acts, has finally come clean through his ghost,...
Read full storyNashville Man Locks Keys to Happiness - and Regular Keys - in Car
Jesse Hancock of Nashville, Tennessee, delighted to discover the keys to happiness in a book at his neighborhood branch library, hastily jotted them on a scrap of paper, only to accidentally lock them in his car - along with his regular keys. "So...
Read full storyFootball Gossip: Nigerian Women, Hickman "Little Shit", Boothroyd Vote of Confidence
After photographic evidence emerged of Nigerian players seemingly protecting testicles while facing a free kick, FIFA has begun an investigation into allegations that Nigeria's Women's World Cup team may not be all it seems. Coventry City defender...
Read full storySheryl Crow Can't Remember What Her Songs Sounded Like
American singing star, Sheryl Crow, has said original tapes of her albums, including Tuesday Night Music Club and The Globe Sessions were lost when a fire engulfed archives at Universal Studios in Los Angeles in 2008, and the songs are now lost forev...
Read full storyRap Stars' Mothers Reveal Reasons They Called Their Kids What They Did
The mothers of some of the biggest rap stars in the music business have said they named their children in the way they did, because it was clear that they were destined for superstardom. Many rap artists change their names to something more catchy...
Read full storyConcern grows over DeepMind's video game addiction
Researchers at DeepMind, the lab owned by Google parent company Alphabet, are becoming increasingly concerned over the amount of time its AI project spends playing popular video games. After becoming champion of the known universe in games like ches...
Read full storySerena Williams Threatens To 'Kill' Opponent
There was drama on another level in the third round of the French Open tennis tournament at Roland Garros yesterday, when three-time winner Serena Williams lost in straight sets to unseeded Sofia Kenin, and then threatened to kill her. Kenin, only...
Read full storyMan Reckons Song Doesn't Go On For Anywhere Near Long Enough
A man listening to a song by French rock band, The Limiñanas, has said that, for his liking, anyway, the track doesn't go on for anywhere near long enough, and could do to be extended by about another three minutes. The song, 'Dimanche', a stompin...
Read full storyRenault Remoaner - Our Motoring Correspondent's Review
Inital Impressions Good to drive, and seems fairly reliable. First impressions are good but quickly fade due to overbearing cruise control that steps in when you least need it. Controls are simple, as everything is remote-controlled from a shady o...
Read full storyLearning The Alphabet As Simple As ABC
A source uninvolved with education has said that learning to speak English, is the "easiest thing in the world", and he doesn't really know what all the fuss is about. Dave Clever, a plumber, said: "Learning English wasn't difficult, it was a p...
Read full storyThe Wonderful World Of Uninteresting Animals #4: The Hedgehog
To the uninitiated, the British hedgehog seems like an interesting sort of creature. Its body covered in spines, its pointed nose sniffing around for something to eat, its beady eyes searching around in the darkness, are enough to give the unwary tra...
Read full storyGeorge RR Martin Has Been Busy Writing Books Again
George RR Martin, the man responsible for the books upon which the TV fantasy drama 'Game Of Thrones' is based, is a tireless author. This doesn't mean he hasn't got any tires, it means that he rarely puts his pencil and notepad down. Martin takes...
Read full storyPolitics as a Car Review
Welcome to what we hope will be a series from our new motoring correspondent. He has a wealth of experience with crashing things, talking crap down the pub, and almost wrote a letter to Top Gear once. To get things started, we asked him for a quic...
Read full storyTheresa May Found Crouching Under Scottish Bridge
Theresa May, the former British prime minister, who resigned from her position as Conservative party leader on Friday, has been discovered by three walkers in the Scottish Highlands, crouching under a bridge. The incident took place near Ben Nevis...
Read full storyJussie Smollett In Second Racist And Homophobic Attack
Jussie Smollett, the former actor who used to star in 'Empire' before an alleged racist and homophobic attack left him scared to tell the truth, has suffered a second racist and homophobic attack, which was every bit as terrifying - if not more - tha...
Read full storyLiverpool Victory Parade To Take In Greater Manchester
Liverpool, fresh from their 2-0 Champions League victory over Tottenham, have announced details of their victory parade route, and there is one major surprise in store - the parade will reach as far out of town as Manchester. It had been planned t...
Read full storyCar Boot Sale Shut Down After Concerns Over The Quality Of Goods On Sale
A car boot sale that has been under the spotlight of consumer watchdogs for more than two years, has finally been shut down, after severe concerns about the quality of the items on sale. The sale, which has been held on Walton Street Car Park in H...
Read full storyRamadan Under Threat, As Muslims Seen Nibbling On Snacks During The Daytime
As Ramadan, the holiest of holy Muslim festivals, the month-long daytime fasting event, comes to a close on Tuesday it's been revealed that its future is under threat, after a number of cases have come to light in which practicing Muslims were discov...
Read full storyTrump Answers Megan Rapinoe Refusal To Visit White House
President Donald Trump has reacted characteristically to comments made by Megan Rapinoe, the US Women's football player who said she wouldn't visit the White House should her team win the World Cup. Trump tweeted: "She's a women. She'll do as s...
Read full storyWith This New Iran Schlemiel Going On, Now Would Be A Good Time To 'Remember The Maine'. And A Few Other Things.
Now Would Be A Good Time To 'Remember The Maine'. And A Few Other Things. Well, it looks like we are going to get ourselves into another Mid East snafu. Bolton wants to go manu-a-manu with Iran (as long as someone else does the actual fighting. He...
Read full storyThe Wonderful World Of Uninteresting Animals #6: The Housefly
Welcome once again to the complete and utter waste of your precious time that is 'The Wonderful World Of Uninteresting Animals', and this week's subject, after many requests from readers, is the housefly. It was going to be the Kestrel, but isn't...
Read full storyLance Armstrong Denies Being First Man On The Moon
The former cyclist Lance Armstrong has reacted angrily to allegations that he was the first man to walk on the Moon. Armstrong, now 47, won the Tour de France an unprecedented seven times in succession between 1999 and 2005, before being exposed a...
Read full storyMarvel announce new superheroes for upcoming films
The Marvel Cinematic Universe tells a complex story, full of the sort of superheroes that simple-minded people love. There have been around twenty films already, each one referencing the others in a confusing way which forces viewers to watch them al...
Read full storyPresident Trump And Sadiq Khan To Have A Duel
US President Donald J. Trump and Lord Mayor of London Sadiq Khan hate each other, and are constantly tweeting about each other on Twitter. Today, however, things went several steps further, as the pair upset one another so much, their tempers boi...
Read full storyTrump Says Rape Allegations Are Not Fake News
President Donald Trump has come out fighting in his latest controversy, and says that the rape allegations in the E. Jean Carroll case are "not fake news", and are "absolutely true". Mr Trump met Ms Carroll in the Bergdorf Goodman department stor...
Read full storyIsraelis Argue About How Tall President Trump Is
The Middle East is a melting pot of opinion, and things there got even more opinionated yesterday, when Israelis decided to meet to talk about just how tall US president Donald Trump is. Israeli prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, spoke first, and...
Read full storyTen Things You May Not Have Known About: Shrewsbury Town Football Club
When we think about football, we immediately picture, in our minds, the giants of the game - Manchester United, Barcelona, Real Madrid, Juventus, Peter Crouch and so on. But what about the 'little teams'? The also-rans. The cannon fodder. Today, we f...
Read full storyNashville Woman Skyrockets Health with Morning Chocolate Smoothie
Sandra Larkin of Nashville, Tennessee, has exponentially upped her intake of greens, calcium and protein by incorporating a daily specialty smoothie into her morning routine. Larkin highly recommends her chocolate peanut butter smoothie to anyone int...
Read full storyThe Wonderful World Of Uninteresting Animals #5: The Saber-toothed Earthworm
Well, here we are, back once again, against all the odds, I have to say, in 'The Wonderful World Of Uninteresting Animals', and this week's offering is the little-known, and even littler-cared-about, Saber-toothed Earthworm. The Saber-toothed Eart...
Read full storyI Thought These People Weren't Supposed To Have A Sense Of Humor- Iran Has a Trump Cartoon Contest!
I Thought These People Weren't Supposed To Have A Sense Of Humor- Iran Has a Trump Cartoon Contest. According to the Tehran Times, over 1,600 entries were sent to the Iranian “International Trumpism Cartoon and Caricature Contest” this past week.
Read full storyCarrie On Boris As New PM Stars In Movie Classic
London, UK - (What-a-Carrie-on-Mess): Incoming British Prime Minister Boris Johnson is to star in a new Pinewood Studios classic about the perils of mismatched coupling in the internet dating age. Carrie On Boris will see the new PM rework a 1970...
Read full storyA Dire Warning From President Trump
President Trump just delivered a new address. Here it is: My fellow Americans, many of whom are my friends…all of you, all Americans are my friends. Most of them. Very few people don’t like me, and those that don’t are bad people. Like Hilla...
Read full storyGoober shakes up the self-driving car market
Chandler, AZ - Dick Weede, spokesperson for Goober ride service, announced today the firing of all their human drivers, at a small press conference at Chandler Fashion Center. “We solved the last issues with self-driving cars. We used to have to...
Read full storyTrump visits USS John McCain; spits on deck
Following all the controversy, Mr. Trump decided to return to Japan to visit USS John McCain DDG 56, and set the record straight. The destroyer honors not only Senator McCain, but his father and grandfather, both previously admirals in the US Nav...
Read full storyHundreds Of U.S. Border Guards Desert Their Posts And Flee To Canada
In response to overwhelming job stress, social oppression and poor working conditions, hundreds of ICE (U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement) officials and workers have streamed in hastily put together caravans to the Canadian border seeking asyl...
Read full storySerge Gainsbourg: How the Hell Did He Do It?
Unkempt. Unshaven. Reeking of fags and booze. Ugly. French. Those all applied to Serge, yet still he managed to shag some excruciatingly gorgeous women throughout his short life: Bambou Brigitte Bardot Jane Birkin The question is: HOW? I s...
Read full storyChild Fell Over In Playground
The hot, balmy weather at the weekend was enough to get most people out of the house and on the move, but one family who took their kids to a playground almost had cause to regret it, when their youngest son fell over, causing an injury to his leg.
Read full storyNew York Man Finally Catches on that Coworker Isn't Talking to Him
It took a while, but Trace Nelson of New York City eventually realized that his coworker Jennifer Friedman had been pointedly ignoring him for over six months. "I think I must have accidentally offended her in some way," said Trace. "No clue how,...
Read full storyProgressive Christian Therapist Secretly Judges Gay Client for Being Too Well-Adjusted
Unlike most of his fundamentalist Christian fellows, progressive Christian psychologist Lee Haley of Nashville, Tennessee, doesn’t believe that gay men are doomed to hell or in need of therapeutic “conversion,” but he admitted to secretly judging his...
Read full storyPolitically Correct Man Guiltily Has a Racial Thought
Several days ago, as Todd Imperial was stepping out of a crowded elevator, his eyes inadvertently drifted to the notably generous derriere of the woman in front of him, and, before he could appropriately censor himself, his mind had guiltily jumped t...
Read full storyAfter Casablanca: Rick and Sam in Tanny Tuva
The bar was closed, and Sam and Rick sat alone in the semi-darkness of Rick's Gin Mill, the only tavern in Kyzyl, the capital of Tuva. A half-empty bottle stood unevenly on the table, poised to shake at the slightest motion. Rick, head buried in his...
Read full storyPresident Trump Says Woman Is Not His Typist
President Donald Trump has gone on record to officially announce that the woman accusing him of sexual misconduct is not his typist. E. Jean Carroll has accused Mr. Trump of lunging at her in the changing room of the Bergdorf Goodman department st...
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