Man In Potato Chips Advert Was Wearing Far Too Much Lipstick

Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 9 June 2019

image for Man In Potato Chips Advert Was Wearing Far Too Much Lipstick
This is probably that rear admiral's car

A male actor in a TV advertisement for some potato chips, was wearing an extraordinary amount of lipstick, leading one viewer to think, not unreasonably, that the man might have been a homosexual.

The chips, Jacks, a product by Calbee, are delicious, and a firm favorite with consumers in Thailand. They are long thin sticks, hard and crispy, and come with a sachet of tomato ketchup into which the chip sticks can be dipped, should you be so inclined.

The actor, about 23, was dressed in a blue shirt, tight black pants and black winkle-picker shoes - a sign, for many, of a 'man who likes men'. His face was so white it looked like it had been bleached, his hair was slicked back, and his lips appeared as if they had been daubed with a couple of coats of scarlet-colored gloss paint.

For extra camposity his movements and facial expressions were exaggerated, particularly when he was presented with one of the crisps tlpped with a dab of ketchup.

He elicited a look of delight, as if the tasty snack had been a man's penis.

A social commentator said:

"Being homosexual was deemed to be desrving of the death penalty in the UK until 1861 - in the US until 1873; Oscar Wilde was jailed in 1895; during the twentieth century, it was still illegal, and, in the 1970s, 'gaybashing' was common. During the next 20 years, things changed, 'being gay' became fashionable, and, during the twenty-first century, the pendulum has swung completely the other way, and has given us LGBTQ."

He stopped for a moment of reflection, then said:

I just hope I don't live long enough to see the day when it becomes compulsory."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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