Beyonce Knowles Fan Club Average Age Now 11

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 7 June 2019

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Behave you naughty boys and girls!

A man who read a news report about Nicole Curran, the wife of the owner of a basketball team, and the online abuse she received from Beyonce fans after it was perceived that Curran had been rude to the singer, has invited the childish morons to direct some of the hate his way, as he can take it.

Curran and her husband, Joe Lacob, owner of the Golden State Warriors, were watching his team with their guests, Jay-Z and Beyonce Knowles. Nothing happened, but members of the BeyHIVE, Beyonce's fan club, took to Instagram and Twitter, spewing hate, and attacked Curran with typed words some of which may have been correctly spelt.

Curran, in tears, closed her Instagram account.

Moys Kenwood, a man who has nothing at all to do with any of this, but who quickly became interested in how easy it was for an innocent woman to become the unwitting victim of toxic fandom, decided to step in.

He said:

"Being a popstar must be lovely, but having a fan club that has as its members a considerable number of braindead morons must irk. I imagine Beyonce wishes that these 'toxic fans' would die in their sleep, or just start liking someone else."

After a short pause, he added:

If you are a BeyHIVE member, and still have an appetite for hurling toxic abuse, please send it to moyskenwood@hotmail.com, and I promise that every email will get a response. Eventually."

The average age of BeyHIVE members has now risen to 11.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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