Progressive Christian Therapist Secretly Judges Gay Client for Being Too Well-Adjusted

Written by Chrissy Benson

Saturday, 1 June 2019

image for Progressive Christian Therapist Secretly Judges Gay Client for Being Too Well-Adjusted
Open-minded psychologist Dr. Haley will be there when his gay client, Mark H., is ready to take a look at his homosexuality.

Unlike most of his fundamentalist Christian fellows, progressive Christian psychologist Lee Haley of Nashville, Tennessee, doesn’t believe that gay men are doomed to hell or in need of therapeutic “conversion,” but he admitted to secretly judging his gay client, Mark H., for being just a little too well-adjusted.

“In my objective opinion, he ought to feel extremely conflicted, guilty and deeply ashamed,” said Dr. Haley. “Strangely, though, he seems completely comfortable with his homosexuality. Professionally speaking, I find that quite neurotic - in fact, borderline pathological. And certainly morally wrong."

And, while Dr. Haley is meticulous about not making Mark feel judged for being gay or for being too contentedly gay, he does question Mark’s underlying motivation for seeking out therapy in the first place.

“I assumed he came to me to work through his feelings about being a faggot,” said Dr. Haley. “But instead he wanted to discuss his irrational fear of tree frogs.”

Dr. Haley noted that Mark’s fear is indeed irrational, since tree frogs are generally found only in the western portion of the state. “But if that’s what he wants to work on, I’ll do my best to help him,” said Dr. Haley. “At some point, he'll be ready to take a hard look at his homosexuality. And I'll be here for him when he does.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more