Nashville Man Locks Keys to Happiness - and Regular Keys - in Car

Written by Chrissy Benson

Thursday, 27 June 2019

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Jesse Hancock is pretty sure a 2006 Pontiac G6 wa not one of the keys to happiness - which is fortunate, since his was towed.

Jesse Hancock of Nashville, Tennessee, delighted to discover the keys to happiness in a book at his neighborhood branch library, hastily jotted them on a scrap of paper, only to accidentally lock them in his car - along with his regular keys.

"So typical," said Jesse. "It's exactly the kind of stunt I pull all the time. I get so close, and then I self-sabotage."

Jesse explained that he contacted Triple-A to help him get into his car to retrieve his keys to happiness as well as his regular keys, but was told that his membership had lapsed.

"Strike two," said Jesse.

And, while the AAA customer service representative offered to renew his membership over the phone, that option did not work out, either, because Jesse's wallet, with his debit card, was also locked in the car.

"Surprise, surprise," said Jesse. "Strike three."

Jesse didn't have much more time to ponder potential solutions to his conundrum because, next thing he knew, his car, which he'd parked near a fire hydrant while he quickly popped into the library, was being towed away - which came as little surprise to Jesse.

"I was already out of strikes," he said. "So something was bound to happen."

According to Jesse, what kept him from losing it altogether, however, was that, from what he recalled of the keys to happiness, he was pretty certain that a 2006 Pontiac G6 was not on the list.

"Exceptions? Acceptance? Something like that was one of them," said Jesse, who is optimistic that his recollection of the other five to ten happiness tips will return to him quite soon.

And in the meantime, he's doing his best not to let the whole keys/car keys/car situation get him down.

"I'm just walking it off," he said. "Without a car, really what else can I do?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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