Racist TV Shows To Make Comeback Under Boris Johnson

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 19 June 2019

image for Racist TV Shows To Make Comeback Under Boris Johnson
Boris Johnson's vision for Britain

As the Conservative Party leadership race starts to get on your tits, sources inside the party have said that, should Boris Johnson be successful, TV viewers can look forward to a whole swathe of racist and homophobic shows that had been, hitherto, swept into history.

Mr Johnson is not a big fan of Europe, and he's not that keen on Europeans either. One of his favourite TV programmes of the late 1970s and early 1980s was Mind Your Language, which poked fun at foreigners and their attempts to learn English at a language school, amidst a slew of poor stereotype 'jokes'.

Another programme in the same vein was 'Allo 'Allo!, with its ridiculously exaggerated French and German accents, from characters who fitted long-held biased and barbed English stereotypical opinions. Said Johnson:

"What a hoot! That's coming back!"

Mr Johnson also guffawed himself senseless at the ultracamposity of John Inman's Mr Humphries, in Are You Being Served.

To put things into a proper perspective, and to echo his own thoughts on the matter, Mr Johnson has said that he would revive three shows which all but the Far-Right Nazis of the world would ever let out of their canisters again.

First, the show starring Windsor Davies and Melvyn Hayes, making fun out of the appalling antics of the British in India, It Ain't Half Hot, Mum!, with its homosexual and transphobic undertones, and racist overtones.

Next up is Til Death Us Do Part, which featured Alf Garnett espousing the long-dead 'virtues' of an English history fondly misremembered. That Garnett was a loud-mouthed West Ham fan only added to the spittle.

And to 'go the whole hog', a show which should never again see the light of day, but which will if Johnson becomes leader. Love Thy Neighbour, was cringeworthy in the 1970s, never mind in the enlightened twenty-first century, and viewers are advised to watch this show only if there is adequate space to hide behind their sofa.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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