Angela Merkel's Head Melts

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 18 June 2019

image for Angela Merkel's Head Melts
Here, Mrs. Merkel is just starting to go into meltdown

There was drama in Germany today, during some abnormally hot weather, when Chancellor Angela Merkel was taken to hospital when her head melted.

Merkel, 64, was standing next to Ukraine president Volodymyr Zelensky in Berlin, listening to the two countries' national anthems when the incident took place.

The temperature at midday was a roasting 53°C (127.4°F). Merkel started to shake, and then rolled her eyes. Steam could be seen coming out of both of her ears, and her cranium appeared to shrivel, before she collapsed in a heap on a lawn.

Emergency services were called, and, due to the high level of German efficiency, arrived on the scene two minutes before they were summoned.

Mrs Merkel was whisked (German: gewhiskt) away to a local hospital where experienced doctors were able to reshape her head to its normal size, and she was allowed to go home later.

Mr. Zelensky said he was "sehr warm", but suffered no liquification.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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