Thai Boxing On TV Was Brutal

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 4 June 2019

image for Thai Boxing On TV Was Brutal
It's to be hoped they wash their feet before getting into the ring!

An afternoon spent watching Thai boxing on television, on Sunday, left one viewer wondering whether the 'sport' wasn't the most brutalest thing he'd ever seen in his entire life.

Thai boxing - or muay Thai - is unlike traditional boxing, in that kicking is allowed, as is the use of elbows.

This was the kind of brutal, violent, cowardly, madcappery and nonsense with which ex-football hooligan, Moys Kenwood, was confronted, when his father-in-law paid his family a visit at the weekend, and wanted to watch the telly.

In one memorable bout, Somchartapoon Siddarathanakasoponchai (red shorts) was pitched against Somchai Somboon (blue shorts) in a lightweight contest. Siddarathanakasoponchai started well, looking aggressive, with Somboon blocking his advances all through Round One. In the second round, however, Somboon, having soaked up all the pressure, attacked Siddarathanakasoponchai with everything he had, which was a lot.

He pounced with a brutal left jab and a brutal right hook, then leapt on the stunned Siddarathanakasoponchai with a barrage of punches, kicks, and a brutal right elbow to the latter's left ear. The crowd cheered, and someone threw a chair into the ring.

Somboon picked up the chair, and brutally smashed it over the head of Siddarathanakasoponchai, who was trying to get up off the canvas. Referee Sidarat Sayathanyawat made as if to intervene, but was clobbered by another seat launched into the ring by the now-baying spectators.

In Kenwood's living room, his father-in-law bayed in unison with the Thai crowd.

Back in Bangkok, the 'boxers' were sent to their corners at the end of the round. There was a slight delay as Siddarathanakasoponchai slurped down some noodles, but then they got at it again.

Somboon came out stronger, and unleashed the ultimate in brutal attacks, which included 48 punches, 13 kicks with the foot, 8 with the knee, 3 elbow shots, a fingerpoke in the eye, a chewed ear, and a head butt, for extra brutality.

Siddarathanakasoponchai's fight was over, but there was just enough time for another chair to be slung into the ring, before the whole auditorium erupted in a Wild West-style free-for-all that left everyone injured.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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