European Heatwave: Woman Fries Egg On Her Husband's Baldpatch

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 28 June 2019

image for European Heatwave: Woman Fries Egg On Her Husband's Baldpatch
Ernesto's head, it seems, was perfect for frying eggs

Uncommonly hot weather has seen temperatures in Europe soar this week, and, to illustrate just how hot it was, a woman in the Spanish capital of Barcelona fried an egg on the bald part of her husband's head.

Ernesto Valdez, 58, told his wife repeatedly that the heat was bothering him, and that he was "too hot" and "boiling".

"This went on for two days," said his wife, Conchita, 56. "He started to get on my nerves with it, to be honest."

The heat got hotter, and Ernesto became more uncomfortable. His moaning got worse, and the focus of his moaning, poor, old Conchita, bore the brunt.

"On and on and on, he went, like a runaway train," she said. "We were all hot. I was hot, my son was hot, my daughters were hot, the dog was hot, and our neighbors were hot, but you'd have thought he was the only one suffering!"

Senora Valdez decided to 'lighten the mood'. When it was teatime, and she noticed Ernesto asleep in his chair in the full force of the sun's rays, she cracked an egg, and set it on his head to cook.

The heat immediately took hold, and the egg started to sizzle atop his pate. It took shape, and formed the perfect fried egg. The family gathered around to watch, chuckling, as Ernesto slept on.

When the egg was ready, Conchita used her spatula to scrape it from her husband's head, and put it on a plate for their dog, Luis, to eat. Luis licked his lips.

Said Chonchita:

"Ernesto looked so peaceful, we didn't wake him. He would probably have said it was 'too hot to eat', or something like that. I used to think him losing his hair was a bad thing, but his baldpatch certainly came in handy today!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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