Climate Change Deniers Join Forces with 9/11 Truth Deniers to Empower People to Think Beyond Science

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Sunday, 23 June 2019

image for Climate Change Deniers Join Forces with 9/11 Truth Deniers to Empower People to Think Beyond Science
"What's this 'Building 7'?" demanded Trump, noting that it was the Twin Towers - two - that fell on September 11, 2001.

In what many have called the age of movements, two seemingly disparate groups, climate change deniers and 9/11 truth deniers, have united to further their shared aim of empowering citizens to think beyond  the limits of science and promulgate their own "truth." The Beyond Science or "BS" Coalition includes such luminaries as outspoken climate change deniers, United States President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Pence, and former president George W. Bush, who, even in the face of information from groups like Architects and Engineers for 9/11 Truth indicating that the Twin Towers and World Trade Center Building 7 could not have collapsed at free-fall acceleration simply as the result of airplane impact (especially Building 7, which was never hit by any airplane), continues to cling to the official government account of the events of September 11, 2001.

"It's inspiring to see how completely effective the 9/11 truth-denying movement has been in ridiculing and marginalizing anyone who even dares suggest that it might be worth examining the physical evidence regarding the collapse of the two buildings that disintegrated into dust that day," said Trump. "And what's all this nonsense about some 'Building 7'? It was the Twin Towers - Twin. As in two."

Former president Bush agreed. "With regard to 9/11, we've managed to ensure that science doesn't stand in the way of good old-fashioned American patriotism," said Bush. "We are honored to apply this same expertise to ensure the similar success of the climate stability movement."

Bush added, "And I personally have no information regarding any third building that collapsed that day. To my knowledge, there's no mention of any Building 7 in the official scientific government report. I believe this talk of a third building is a red herring, designed to distract people from the real issue, which is the war on terror."

Vice President Pence echoed the former president's sentiments. "We have no use for red herrings when it comes to the climate. With the help of the right people, I am confident that we'll break free of the bonds of science. As they say, we'll be cooking with gas - freedom gas!"

Trump, who coined the patriotic nickname for methane to ameliorate the negative association some have with that particularly potent greenhouse gas, nodded vehemently. "That's exactly right, my friends. Life is good, and the truth is oh-so-free."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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