Chinese 'Tank Man' To Appear On The Late Show From Behind A Screen

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 4 June 2019

image for Chinese 'Tank Man' To Appear On The Late Show From Behind A Screen
'Tank Man' waiting patiently at the tank stop for a number 13

The mysterious 'Tank Man' of Tiananman Square, the man who singlehandedly stood up to the murderous Chinese authorities during the 1989 Beijing uprising and massacre, is to appear on Wednesday night's edition of 'The Late Show' with Stephen Colbert - but from behind a screen, to protect his true identity.

'Tank Man' has spent the 30 years since the uprising hidden away in many different locations to avoid the Chinese authorities, with whom he is still considered unpopular.

If apprehended, he would almost certainly be killed to death.

Colbert will, no doubt, fire important, incisive questions at 'Tank Man', along the lines of:

What did it feel like standing in front of that tank?

Were you nervous?

Is China intent on world domination?

What does it feel like to be Chinese?

How do you find the air in this room? Too clean?

If you hadn't been 'Tank Man', what would you like to have been?

Could you please say "fried rice" for us?

The show is already facing criticism from viewer watchdogs who are asking why, if 'Tank Man' has managed to make it to the US, he needs to be placed behind a screen, and that 'Tank Man' could be anybody.

In response, 'The Late Show' producers have denied that 'Tank Man' is just some token Chinaman they found in the street.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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