Lance Armstrong Denies Being First Man On The Moon

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 18 June 2019

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The former cyclist Lance Armstrong has reacted angrily to allegations that he was the first man to walk on the Moon.

Armstrong, now 47, won the Tour de France an unprecedented seven times in succession between 1999 and 2005, before being exposed as a drug cheat who took performance-enhancing substances, and eventually had those victories scratched from the annals of history.

His claims that drug-taking was rife amongst the peloton, and, indeed, that cycling is riddled with drugs, were brushed aside.

Now, stories are circulating that, as part of the Apollo 11 mission in July 1969, Armstrong rode his bike on the surface of the Moon.

Buzz Aldrin, 89, who was also part of that mission, and was the first man to play a trumpet on the Moon, said:

"I may be getting on in years, but there's nothing wrong with my memory. Armstrong was there, and riding his bike. I think."

For his part, Mr. Armstrong has said that he has never once left the Earth's atmosphere, although, he admits, he was spaced-out for most of those seven Tour wins.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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