Ramadan Under Threat, As Muslims Seen Nibbling On Snacks During The Daytime

Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 2 June 2019

image for Ramadan Under Threat, As Muslims Seen Nibbling On Snacks During The Daytime
If you can see the trees are green, it's daytime, Abdul

As Ramadan, the holiest of holy Muslim festivals, the month-long daytime fasting event, comes to a close on Tuesday it's been revealed that its future is under threat, after a number of cases have come to light in which practicing Muslims were discovered 'snacking' well before sunset.

Ramadan commemorates the first revelation of the Quran to Mohammad, and during it, Muslims must refrain from eating, drinking, smoking, having sex, or indulging in sinful behavior, whatever that's supposed to mean.

This year, it fell between 5 May and 4 June.

In a whole swathe of incidents, though, seemingly devout Muslimists were spotted eating, chewing, chomping, and nibbling on various tasty titbits that they should have abstained from consuming until the sun had dropped out of view, but didn't.

In Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, where alcohol is banned, "a large group of men" were witnessed imbibing it to excess. They will be executed later today.

Nearer to home, a Muslim man in Birmingham was seen eating a bar of Cadbury's Dairy Milk chocolate, and in Dudley, two Muslim girls were witnessed sharing a pack of bacon Frazzles.

In London, three Islam fans were spotted in the queue at McDonald's in Oxford Street, and two others were enjoying coffee and cake in a Pret à Manger in Kensington.

A group of schoolboys smoked cigarettes in a children's playground in Bradford, and a man with a brown paper bag in his hand was seen emerging from an outlet of Subway in Manchester, licking his lips.

It's a gradual erosion of the importance of religion in general, and its traditions in particular, according to an expert on religious affairs, Wendy Sokomo. She said:

"It's all an absolute load of bollox."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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