Man's Shoes Are Indestructible

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 6 June 2019

image for Man's Shoes Are Indestructible
They stink like fuck

A pair of cheap shoes bought at a market almost twenty years ago have lasted much longer than their owner expected them to, it's been revealed.

The pair of rubberized, slip-on-style beach shoes cost only 99 Baht when purchased at Bangkok's Chatuchak Market in early 2000 by Moys Kenwood, a Far East resident originally from Hull in East Yorkshire, and, according to him, they are still providing good service today.

Often in danger of being 'turfed in the bin', the shoes have been given several reprieves, and have always 'come up with the goods' when it mattered.

Said Kenwood:

"These shoes might look shit, but, you can take it from me, they're as sturdy as fuck. They've survived all kinds of abuse - intense heat and sunlight, rain, seawater, thick mud, dog shit - and are still going strong. In fact, they're almost as good as they were on the day they were bought!"

The shoes are regularly soaked in vinegar to disinfect them, and to remove the upsetting smell that emanates from them, so that other people standing nearby do not pass out.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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