Football Season In 'Delay' Shock

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 11 June 2019

image for Football Season In 'Delay' Shock
A traditional Cobbler's with a cobbler cobbling something together

It's been revealed by sources close to the game, that the traditional start to the football season may be delayed by "as much as two weeks" due, it's claimed, to "circumstances beyond our control".

It's not yet clear what the circumstances are that are threatening to delay the start of the season, nor what the 'control' is, beyond which these circumstances lie.

Even the sources, to which this devastating news has been attributed, are currently unknown, as is their degree of closeness to the game.

Indeed, at this point in time, even the branch of football to which this news supposedly applies - either Association football of the type played in many parts of the world with a perfectly spherical ball, or the American version played with a ball that is egg-shaped - is in doubt, and it's unclear as to when any of this might start to become any clearer.

The length of the possible delay is also something that is quite mysterious, and it's not known why this might have been calculated as "two weeks" and not, say, three. The waters surrounding the story are, it's fair to say, very 'muddy'.

In short, not much is known about any of the revelations, which, as likely as not, will turn out to be a load of old cobblers.

'The Cobblers' is the nickname of League Two strugglers, Northampton Town.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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