Theresa May, the former British prime minister, who resigned from her position as Conservative party leader on Friday, has been discovered by three walkers in the Scottish Highlands, crouching under a bridge.
The incident took place near Ben Nevis, in an area that regularly endures hostile weather conditions, with strong gusts of wind and squalls of horizontal rain the norm. Mrs May was dressed in rags, and had grown a partial beard. She leered at the walkers, and threw rocks at them.
Brian McNair, one of the trio of walkers, said:
"We were crossing a stream, and heard movement under the bridge. We had a look, and that's when we saw Mrs. May, scowling at us, hissing, and throwing pebbles."
Another member of the party, Rebecca Titty, said:
"After the Brexit fuck-up, we thought about stoning her to death, but, instead, we tied her wrists and ankles to a metal pole we found, and carried her to the nearest police station as if she were an elk we had caught. It was fun!"
After a short interview, police allowed Mrs May to return to her hideout under the bridge.