Jussie Smollett In Second Racist And Homophobic Attack

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 25 June 2019

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Police hot on the trail in the Jussie Smollett Wild Goose Chase Case

Jussie Smollett, the former actor who used to star in 'Empire' before an alleged racist and homophobic attack left him scared to tell the truth, has suffered a second racist and homophobic attack, which was every bit as terrifying - if not more - than the first.

Smollett, 31, was 'attacked' in Chicago in January, but not really.

Now, it has been revealed, he has been targeted once more in more racistness and homophobosity.

The second incident happened this morning when he went out at 3am, searching for jobs. He found none, and walked home through a racist and homophobic area, where racists and homophobes carry out racism and homophobia seemingly unchecked.

First, Smollett was tongue-lashed by an old tramp who was laid in a gutter. Then, as he tried to recover from this, a young couple glared at him in a way he perceived as both racist and homophobic.

CCTV footage next catches a streetcleaner, who must have recognized Smollett, giving him a cheery wave and shouting:

Hi, Jussie!"

According to Smollett, he had never before felt as tense as he did at that moment.

"You have to believe me," he said. "I genuinely feared for my life."

He ran, but was cornered by a white Far-Right mob of around 50 skinheads, who gave him Nazi salutes and 'Sieg heiled' him, shouted and swore at him, threw stones at him, punched and kicked him, bashed him with crowbars, slashed him with razor blades, put a noose on his neck, and bum-raped him.

None of this happened, by the way.

Chicago police have said they will devote all available manpower to looking into Mr Smollett's claims, in due course.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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