Man Executes Mosquito

Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 8 June 2019

image for Man Executes Mosquito
Only one mosquito was harmed during the making of this story

A man, sat minding his own business, and not being a bother to anybody, was the victim of a bloody attack last night, and was forced to carry out an execution.

Moys Kenwood, 55, was sitting in his chair, typing out a spoof story on his telephone, when he distinctly felt the proboscis of a lady mosquito being inserted into the back of his left hand, and calmly took remedial action.

Without tensing his left hand, which would have sounded an alarm bell in the mosquito's microscopic brain, he used the palm of his right hand to slap the offender to death.

It was all over in an instant. *

At the crucial moment, he had secured his grip on the phone so that he didn't drop it when the full force of the impact changed the insect's shape.

Said Kenwood:

"It's all about the timing, and remaining calm."


* The shortest measurement of time the human brain can imagine

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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