There were 214 spoof news stories published in October 2019. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Harry Maguire: Players Are Fed Up Of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer
Harry Maguire, the Manchester United central defender who joined the Red Devils in an £80million summer transfer from Leicester City, has said the ongoing rumours over the future of manager, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, are starting to have a negative effec...
Read full storySir Bobby Charlton Wades Into Solskjaer Sacking Debate
Manchester United legend, Sir Bobby Charlton, has weighed-in with his tuppenceworth to the debate about whether or not team manager, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer should be given more time to turn things around at Old Trafford, after the Red Devils' worst sta...
Read full storyMane's VAR mistake
~Anfield After a 1-1 draw with Manchester United on Sunday, Sadio Mane was outraged with Manchester United's goal, saying that it should not have stood. He criticised VAR, and said that it had been used wrongly, claiming that Liverpool should have...
Read full storyPerfect Horse’s Ass Ruined When They Put Teeth In Joe Biden’s Pie Hole
BILLINGSGATE POST: Even Rembrandt couldn’t paint a perfect horse’s ass. Now, any chance that one could be found has been permanently side-lined by the inadvertent planting of teeth in Joe Biden’s pie hole. Some pundits have likened the crooked s...
Read full storyManchester United Dumps Ole Gunnar: “Action” Jackson To Take Reins
BILLINGSGATE POST: Manchester United announced today that manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has been fired, to be replaced by Jack “Action” Jackson, an American topflight manager who caught their eye last year after posting an undefeated season with the...
Read full storyWhy Liberace Was Buried Face Down
BILLINGSGATE POST: Wladziu Valentino Liberace was born to play the piano, in the year 1919 in West Allis, Wisconsin. He was buried In the year 1987 in Forest Lawn Cemetery in Los Angeles, face down. He went by other names during his career; Walte...
Read full storySir Bobby Charlton Is 82 Today!
Sir Bobby Charlton CBE, the former Preston North End and England legend, is celebrating his birthday today - he's 82 years young. Sir Bobby - real name Sir Robert - was injured but survived the 1958 Munich Air Disaster, playing for many more year...
Read full storyHarry Maguire To Replace Ole Gunnar Solskjaer As Manchester United Manager
In an announcement from Old Trafford just minutes ago, it was revealed that Manchester United manager, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, is to be replaced with immediate effect by £80million summer signing from Leicester City, Harry Maguire. Maguire, 26, beco...
Read full storyHarry Maguire Seriously Considering His Future
Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England central defender who, it could be said, had the world at his feet just three short months ago, is now seriously considering his future, and a possible move out of Old Trafford in the January transfer...
Read full storyTERMINATOR 9 - New Schwarzenegger Movie
HOLLYWOOD, CA - In 1984, "Terminator" was the stunning Sci-Fi action movie which put humanity in a life-and-death struggle against the ultimate killing machine of the future, made by man and perfected by Artificial Inteligence. Arnold Schwarzenegger...
Read full storyDid The New York Times Plagiarize Dr. Billingsgate?
BILLINGSGATE POST: Did the New York Times pick up and run with this story, falsely attributing it to President Trump instead of Dr. Billingsgate? You decide. New York Times By Michael D. Shear and Julie Hirschfeld Davis Oct. 1, 2019 Quo...
Read full storyPresident Trump May Have Been Given Blow Job By Anne Sacoolas
It's been rumored that, after she was summoned to the White House to meet the parents of a young motorcyclist she had killed in England in August, Anne Sacoolas, the wife of a US intelligence officer, may have given President Donald Trump a blow job.
Read full storyHunter Biden Replaces Waldo in Where’s Waldo
In a surprise move meant to quiet the controversy of a topless sunbather recently found in the Where’s Waldo line of books, the publisher, Trumparian Books, announced Hunter Biden would replace Waldo. A representative, who spoke under the condi...
Read full storyManchester United Manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Found Hiding In Closet Under Stairs
A crisis at Old Trafford was averted this morning when, after an initial panic and a frantic search, Manchester United club boss, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, was discovered at his home, hiding in a cupboard under the stairs. Solskjaer, 46, has been weat...
Read full storyDumb Donald of Fat Albert sexually abused by Bill Cosby
Dumb Donald, of Fat Albert fame, has claimed he was sexually assaulted by Bill Cosby In an exclusive interview with The Spoof, we sat down with Fat Albert star, Dumb Donald, where he disclosed some very shocking news. The interview was initially...
Read full storyHarry Maguire Should Have Been Top Of My Shopping List - Guardiola
Manchester City boss, Pep Guardiola, has finally 'seen the light', and has admitted that he should have signed central defender Harry Maguire in the summer. Maguire, 26, eventually signed for City's rivals, Manchester United, in an £80million deal...
Read full storyWashington Post - "Remembers Softer Side of War"
WASHINGTON DC - It's often considered poor etiquette to "speak ill of the dead", and the staff of the Washington Post newspaper has gone the extra mile to show kindness when the Cold Hand of Death reached out on the field of battle. In this case, the...
Read full storyManchester United Boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Has Gone Into Hiding
Beleagured Manchester United manager, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, is reported to have gone into hiding after being relentlessly slammed in the press for his team's inept performances in the Premier League this season. United sit in 12th place in the lea...
Read full storyVAR To Sort Out If England 1966 World Cup Goal Was In Or Not
VAR, the Video Assistant Referee, which has proved so successful in helping on-field officials reach correct decisions in football matches all over the world, is to be used to determine whether or not the ball had crossed the line in England's 1966 W...
Read full storyHarry Maguire In Changing Room 'Groping' Incident
Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England defender is tonight at the centre of not only the famous Old Traffotd club's shaky defence, but also of groping accusations, which manager Ole Hunnar Solskjaer has said he is determined to get to the b...
Read full storyMan Was Surprised To Find Toilet Instructions On Wall
A man who urgently needed to visit the toilet in a local shopping center was surprised to discover a poster on the wall that provided diagrammatic instructions on how to use the facilities. Moys Kenwood, 56, was shopping with his family in Battamb...
Read full storyMan Teaches Crab A Lesson It Will Never Forget
A man who was attacked by a crab, receiving a rather painful nip on the foot, reacted spontaeously and taught the beast a lesson it will never forget, for as long as it lives, which wasn't long. The man was sitting quietly minding his own business...
Read full storyHarry Maguire Wishes He'd Stayed At Leicester
Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England central defender who was the subject of an £80million summer transfer from Leicester City, has experienced a somewhat disappointing start to his Old Trafford career, with United currently in tenth posi...
Read full storyRacist Bulgarian Ultras So Disgusted, They Left At Halftime
There was another easy three points for the England football team in Sofia last night, as Gareth Southgate's boys absolutely annihilated Bulgaria by a trouncingly-reassuring 6-0 scoreline, settling fans' nerves after last week's poor show in the Czec...
Read full storyGreta Thunberg Is Planet Earth's Number One Enemy
Greta Thunberg, the schoolgirl activist on climate change, is, according to a man sat thinking about it in his tea break, Planet Earth's 'Public Enemy Number One'. Moys Kenwood, 56, was reading a report about Thunberg's campaigning exploits, when...
Read full storyHarry Maguire Helps England Almost Draw
It turned out not to be England's night last night, after they were beaten by a late, late goal to lose 2-1 to the Czech Republic in Prague. The Three Lions took the lead through a Harry Kane penalty after 5 minutes, but one can't help thinking it...
Read full storySudoku Puzzle Finally Completed
Sudoku puzzles can be tricky things to complete, especially if they are in the 'hard', or even 'fiendish' categories, so imagine the relief one man felt when he eventually finished off another version of the complicated Chinese game which, instead of...
Read full storyManchester United Talking To Zinedine Zidane, Steve Bruce, And Ricky Tomlinson
Manchester United, the football team that employed one manager - Sir Alex Ferguson - for 27 years, is looking to part company with the fourth manager - Ole Gunnar Solskjaer - in the space of the six years since Ferguson retired, and are talking to Re...
Read full storyToilet Plunger Was 'Sent From God'
A man who bought a toilet plunger to be able to deal with his family's constantly-blocked toilet, has described the item as "an invaluable purchase", and "an absolute Godsend". The problem with the toilet at the home of Moys Kenwood, 56, may not h...
Read full storyHarry Maguire: Man Utd Team Reading Works Of Existentialist Albert Camus
Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England defender, is so absolutely hacked-off with things at Old Trafford, what with poor performances and the 'Ole Gunnar Solskjaer situation', that he is suffering from depression, and has taken to reading t...
Read full storyNASA Mistakes Kim Kardashian's Rear as Earth's Long Theorized Second Moon
In an embarrassing mistake sure make some heads roll, as well as eyes, NASA issued a retraction to a recent story that the long-theorized, but never confirmed, "Earth's Second Moon" had been found, once it was confirmed it was actually a picture of...
Read full storyPaul Pogba Wants More Money
Paul Pogba, the Manchester United football player, is annoyed, and he's annoyed because he wants more money. Pogba, who is French, doesn't know exactly how much more money he wants, but he knows, for certain, he wants more than he's getting at the...
Read full storyBoris Johnson Reveals Brexit Date Was Chosen To Coincide With Jimmy Savile's Birthday
Boris Johnson has revealed that his decision over the date for the UK leaving the European Union - 31 October - was a conscious one to honour the memory of former TV personality, Jimmy Savile, whose birthday it would have been on that day. Savile...
Read full storyStaring At The Sun Can Damage Eyesight
A warning published today by the British Medical Council says that staring at the Sun for hours on end could seriously damage a person's eyesight, and could, ultimately result in blindness. The Sun is a giant orange orb in space, located around 93...
Read full storyMan Had Two Right Hands
Images have surfaced on a satirical news website of a male member of the human race who, quite unconventionally, is the owner of two right hands. Most humans are born with one right hand and one left hand, but a writer on TheSpoof.com noticed that...
Read full storyIn Nod to Animal Rights, Tyson Grants Employed Birds Free Lifetime Housing and Healthcare
In a groundbreaking nod to animal rights, poultry producer, Tyson Foods, agreed to guarantee free lifetime room, board, and healthcare, including unlimited hormone treatment and antibiotics, for the millions of birds employed at its chicken and turke...
Read full storyNew App Helps You Learn A New Language In As Little As Two Years
A new phone app on the market next month enables you to learn and speak a new language fluently - to native speaker standard - in as little as two years, it has been claimed. The app - DIY - explores a revolutionary new method of learning, which,...
Read full storyMan Annoyed That He Probably Won't Get To See Halley's Comet Again
A man that is interested in seeing things has said that he is upset and annoyed that, in all likelihood, he won't get to see Halley's Comet again. Moys Kenwood, 56, was born in 1963, and, as the comet is not expected again until 28 July 2061 when...
Read full storyHarry Maguire In Halloween Trick-Or-Treat Incident
The Manchester United and England central defender, Harry Maguire, and his girlfriend, Fern Hawkins, have been spoken to by police after an unsavoury incident at their home last night, involving Halloween revellers. A group of young children, 200-...
Read full story“View From Under The Bus” opens Thursday with sparkling cast
Star-studded and “brilliant,” according to The New York Times, the story of Joe Biden’s “noble sacrifice” is already getting rave reviews. Mr. Biden is the unfortunate tragic hero, sacrificed when Democrats surge into impeachment conflict with Mr...
Read full storyTreatment to eliminate pedophilia has been discovered
A recent ground-breaking discovery has discovered that pedophilia is linked to a mineral deficiency in the brain. According to Dr. James Harpington of Area Research Center in Reasonville, "We have determined that sex offenders tend to lack suffic...
Read full storyLewis Hamilton Wins Mexico Grand Prix Wearing A Sombrero
Formula One motor racing fans probably thought they had seen everything the sport had to throw at them over the years, but British driver, Lewis Hamilton, had a surprise for fans at the Mexican Grand Prix yesterday, as he rode - and won - the race we...
Read full storyRacist Bulgarian Ultras Strike Again In England's Heartland
The racism that England players so bravely put up with, turned the other cheek to, and ultimately vanquished, reared its ugly head once more yesterday, this time on home turf, as an exciting FA Cup fourth qualifying round game was ruined by hordes of...
Read full storySouthampton Scoreboard Staff Consider Strike Action
There's a drama developing at The Dell this morning, after it was announced that the staff who operate the scoreboard for Premier League Southampton are to take industrial action over working conditions. The trouble flared up after Friday night's...
Read full storySam Allardyce Gets Manchester United Job
It's taken him 28 years and a succession of posts at Preston, Blackpool, Notts County, Bolton, Newcastle, Blackburn, West Ham, Sunderland, England, Crystal Palace and Everton, but it now looks like Sam Allardyce is finally going to get his hands on '...
Read full storyHarry Maguire: Manchester United In Relegation Battle
It's not often you see Manchester United 'down among the dead men' and in a relegation battle, but, after Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's men were beaten yet again yesterday - this time at St. James' Park - thats precisely the position in which they find them...
Read full storyMan And His Wife Saw EastEnders Ricky Butcher In Magaluf
A man and his wife enjoying an evening promenade in the Majorcan tourist resort of Magaluf were shocked and surprised to see the EastEnders character Ricky Butcher sitting outside a bar with his friends, getting blathered. His ex-wife, I mean.
Read full storyMurder Suspect May Buy Manchester United
The red half of Greater Manchester is buzzing with expectation tonight, after it was leaked to the media that the lead suspect in the as-yet unsolved Jamal Khashoggi murder, Saudi Arabian Prince Mohammed bin Salman, is interested in buying Manchester...
Read full storyGasoline Prices In US Tumble To 10c A Gallon As Trump Inducts Saudi Arabia As 51st State
Following the September 14 attack on Saudi Arabia’s Aramco refineries, America promptly blamed Iran for the attack. “It’s an Act of War on US interests,” declared the world’s greatest sanction-slapper, President Donald Trump. “Oil is always a US inte...
Read full storyEnglish Subtitles Spoilt Man's Enjoyment Of Chinese Film
A man watching a Chinese-language movie with English subtitles has revealed how his enjoyment of the production was spoilt because of the sub-standard skills of those responsible for the translations. The movie was on the TV on Saturday morning, a...
Read full storyHarry Kane Says Tottenham Were Unlucky In Bayern Munich Rout
Tottenham Hotspur captain, Harry Kane, claimed his side were unlucky, and did not get "the rub of the green" in their Champions League match against Bayern Munich at White Hart Lane last night. Spurs were mauled 7-2. It could have been more.
Read full storySix Ways to Get an Atheist's Goat
Tired of hearing your heathen friends whine about science and organized religion while completely ignoring your warnings about hell? Well, here are six ways guaranteed to get those smooth-talking tricksters off their game. Why six? Because if yo...
Read full storyPope Francis to Eliminate Celibacy for Priests--Nun Surprised
Standing before a congregation of jubilant priests and journalists from around the globe, Pope Francis announced termination of celibacy for male clergy under 50 years old. In making the historic announcement, the Pope cited workplace safety. "I can...
Read full storyBoris Johnson "Groped Queen"
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson is in deep trouble this morning, after the number of women alleging sexual assault against him rose to three - the latest being Her Majesty the Queen. Her Royal Highness has said that, during her meeting with t...
Read full storyMan's Favorite French Word Is 'Oiseaux'
French, as many people will tell you, is a Romance language, and, indeed, when spoken by those from France, has a rather romantic sound to it, but one man who is not from la belle pays has revealed that his favorite word in French is 'oiseaux'. Th...
Read full storyThe Donald J Trump removal program fully explained
As impeachment proceedings intensify, and a second whistleblower has come forth, we turn to Dr. Rollon Shystrovski for further details. Dr. Shystrovski is an independent analyst with anonymous origins and several degrees in State Secrets and Other...
Read full storyWalmart Introduces CBD-Infused Dental Dams
NEW YORK—Walmart Inc [NYSE: WMT, 116.92, ▲ 0.90 (0.78%)] announced yesterday that it will begin selling CBD-infused dental dams in all its retail outlets by Thanksgiving. The move is seen by industry analysts as an attempt to boost dental dam sales—a...
Read full storyConcert to be held inside Elton John
For years it has been one of the most exclusive and sought-after private venues in the world. Next month, Sir Elton John will be opening up his rectum for a New Years Eve concert to remember, featuring the Birmingham Philharmonic Orchestra. Conduc...
Read full storyBoris Johnson Issues Brexit Halloween Trick-Or-Treat Ultimatum
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson had, according to sources, resigned himself to having his Brexit bill's 3-day timetable rejected by MPs, and not being able to leave the EU with his 'deal', but has now dragged the whole sorry process as low as it...
Read full storyJimmy Sham Attacked By Hong Kong Phooey
One of the leaders of the Hong Kong protests, Jimmy Sham, has been taken to hospital after suffering a hammer attack, and being left in the street, covered in blood. Several witnesses said the attacker looked "a bit like a canine Kung Fu exponent…
Read full storyForever 21 Goes Out of Business--To Reopen as AARP Thrifty 63
Former fashion powerhouse retailer, Forever 21, announced it will close three Arizona stores effective December 31, and its remaining outlets in 2020. According to Forever 21 president, Jin Sook Chang, "... the retail fashion market has evolved and...
Read full storyFortnite powers down. Millions of boys reunited with loved ones
Parents and siblings are rejoicing today after reuniting with missing family members thought lost forever. The popular video game Fortnite powered down Sunday, leaving only a black hole visible on the screen and millions of players confused and unab...
Read full storyCDC issues nationwide Zombie Apocalypse Alter on spread of TDS
Washington, DC - On Friday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued a nationwide Zombie Apocalypse Alter on the spread of Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS). Back on May 16, 2011, the CDC offered guidance to Americans by publishing...
Read full storyHell Becoming Increasingly Uninhabitable Due to Climate Change
While never pleasant, climate experts report that hell is becoming all but uninhabitable due to global warming. "People there are having an even tougher time than usual," said underworld reporter David Cohan. "Poor souls!" Cohan stated, too, th...
Read full storyManchester United Penalty Woes Continue
Manchester United picked up three easy points in their 3-1 victory against Norwich City yesterday, but their on-field problems continue, as they managed to miss TWO more penalties, bringing their total number of spot-kick failures this season to four...
Read full storyDemocrat Congress Condemns Cease-Fire in Mideast
WASHINGTON DC - Politicians and elitist bureaucrats are still furious at President Trump for not using military equipment to spread death and chaos across the face of the earth. The Military-Industrial-Complex and the CIA have a long history of provo...
Read full storyHarry Maguire Named England Captain For Czech Game
Harry Maguire, the Manchester United central defender, is to be given the captain's armband when England travel to Prague to play the Czech Republic in their European Championship Group A qualifying match tomorrow, Friday 11 October. For Maguire,...
Read full storyBerkeley Profs Sell Endorsements, Images and Classroom Naming Rights
Berkeley, CA. Exclusive to The Spoof. After Gov. Gavin Newsom signed a bill allowing California university athletes to take pay for endorsements and images, the faculty senate here at Berkeley decided that the university's professors could supplement...
Read full storyHong Kong: Carrie Lam Calls In Hong Kong Phooey
The crisis in Hong Kong deepened still further today as the island's leader, Carrie Lam, having been forced to abandon her policy address when members of parliament disrupted her speech and drowned out her voice with heckling, took the most drastic a...
Read full storyBuddhist Meditation Video on Disgustingness of the Body Goes Viral
Striking a chord with many, a Buddhist video on the practice of asabha bhavana, a meditation in which one focuses on the loathsomeness of the physical body and its dirty, disgusting nature, went viral overnight, reaching millions eager to contemplate...
Read full storyOle Gunnar Solskjaer Makes Wild Statement After Manchester United Fail To Impress Again
Manchester United boss, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, says his team were "unlucky" in Holland, as they were denied a penalty during their drab, uninspiring goalless draw with AZ Alkmaar, in last night's Europa League fixture. "It's a penalty 101 times out...
Read full storyHarry Maguire Tweet Deemed "Offensive" By Manchester United Fans, And Deleted
Manchester United fans' love affair with £80million summer buy, Harry Maguire, may be 'on the rocks' this morning, after a Twitter tweet the star made yesterday annoyed a section of supporters with its content. This came after disgruntled United f...
Read full storyHillary Clinton falls off subway platform; saved by psychic Russian immigrant
Despite the dramatic rescue of Hillary Clinton in front of a subway train, her rescuer may not be rewarded. Yesterday, Ms. Clinton was addressing a subway platform crowd on “the Russian menace” when she accidentally fell (or was shoved) off a subw...
Read full storyAnimal Control Tasked With Arresting Rudy Giuliani
Washington, D.C. - When Trump's personal attack dog, Rudy Giuliani, inevitably gets arrested soon, the job will not be dealt with by the police, or even the FBI, says a Justice Department spokesperson. No, the job of arresting Trump's lawyer will fal...
Read full storyMan's Family Acquires Rabbit
Rabbits are lovely, although a bit dimwitted, creatures, and don't always make the best pets due to their lack of interaction with their owners, but one family is celebrating their good fortune this evening after being presented with one of the lovab...
Read full storyPresident Trump Reveals He Has Been Joking About Everything
In a speech that will have sent shockwaves all around the world, President Donald Trump last night revealed that, despite all the evidence to the contrary, his antics over the past four years have been mere jest, he was "just joking", and he is surpr...
Read full storyThe Onion Steals Johnny Shlep From The Spoof: Highway Robbery!
BILLINGSGATE POST: Former TheSpoof.com writer Johnny Shlep has been proffered an offer he couldn’t refuse. The Onion, an American satirical digital media company located in Chicago, announced that Johnny Shlep, formally one of the elite writers for...
Read full storyNancy Pelosi to star as Blanche in Off-Broadway re-make of “A Streetcar Named Desire”
Ms. Pelosi is reported enthused over this role, especially due to Representative Schiff taking the part of Stanley Kowalski, formerly performed by Marlon Brando. Mr. Schiff does a variation on the muscular Brando via his eyes, which bulge and prot...
Read full storyLifestyle Medicine Doctor Urges Americans to Stop Shaming Fat People
Dr. Lyle Hackett, a lifestyle medicine physician who helps people cure chronic health problems through changes to their diet and lifestyle, made an impassioned plea for Americans to stop shaming fat people. "Just because you're grossly obese and c...
Read full storyBBC One announces Autumn Programming Lineup
BBC One announced a full roster of new programming for the autumn, with the following new shows: "All Things Well Done under the HUN" - A historical documentary series about the torment endured by artistis who knew early, and who tried to warn the...
Read full storyAZ Alkmaar Consider Sacking Boss After Failure To Beat Manchester United
Club executives at AZ Alkmaar are, this morning, involved in an emergency high-level meeting over the future of the oddly-named team boss, Arne Slot, after last night's game against Manchester United, which ended 0-0. Slot, which is pronounced by...
Read full storyTESLA introduces new Child Safety Features
Inspired entrepreneur and caring parent Elon Musk, flanked by smiling board members, unveiled the new "Tesla Tussle Egg", designed to instantly spray out and surround children in a space-age, see-through foam which protects both car interior, and chi...
Read full storyDenver- If Colorado Were Like The Human Body and Flawlessly Designed By God Then Denver Would Be The Rectum
Denver! Denver, Colorado! Denver- where the pus of the plains erupts to the surface and spreads like lava over a 155 square radius of otherwise pristine land. Denver- a scab that envelopes the foot of the Rockies and gives them athletes foo...
Read full storyEncylopedia of Pretexts for Politics and Business due out by Christmas on Amazon dot com
This newly-established encyclopedia already shows massive pre-sales, with release date December 24. It bears an array of acknowledgements on its title page: “Fascism is the cockroach of contemporary politics—even a nuclear war will not kill it!...
Read full storyHarry Maguire “Big Hat-No Cattle” Said New Manager “Action” Jackson
BILLINGSGATE POST: It didn’t take long for new Manchester United Manager “Action” Jackson to ruffle some feathers, once he took over his new job from Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. Action grew up on a ranch in North Dakota, where fools and imposters were...
Read full storyPresenting The Ganjascope℠, Your Horoscope on Pot
You hold in your hands (you're not still using a desk top, are you?) the astrological world's first Ganjascope℠, the horoscope that takes the logical out of astrological, that boldly goes where no other horoscope dares to tread (yes, the Ganjascope℠...
Read full storyManchester United And Liverpool Will Walk Off If Anyone So Much As THINKS Anything Racist
The game between Manchester United and Premier League leaders Liverpool is just about to kick off at Old Trafford, and the big news is that both teams have agreed they will walk off the pitch if any of the supporters so much as thinks anything of a r...
Read full storyEngland Rugby Team's Haka Response Explained
The response given by the England rugby team to the Haka performed by their New Zealand opponents before the two teams' World Cup semi-final match in Yokohama on Sunday has drawn much attention on social media, where a video has been viewed more than...
Read full storyVapers, Anti-Vapers Debate at Madison Square Garden
Madison Square Garden, NYC. By Woof Blister, reporting for SIN, Spoof International News. Before a capacity crowd of 20,789 agitated partisans, the long-anticipated Great Debate between those supporting the right to vape Ecigarettes and their opponen...
Read full storyNashville Woman Offends Billions by Not Knowing Who Harry Maguire Is
"The fictional character from J.K. Rowling's stories?" was Nashville, Tennessee, resident Bonnie Bordeaux's best guess as to who the wildly talented, charming, all-around-wonderful English footballer Harry Maguire is. "I love that series! But isn't s...
Read full storyTourist Heard Kraftwerk Song, And Began To Dance To It
A man walking past a cafe from which the Kraftwerk hit 'The Model' was blaring at full volume, found himself unwittingly swaying in the quirky dancing style that was prevalent back in the New Romantic days of the early 1980s. Moys Kenwood, then 19...
Read full storyHalloween Cancelled After News That Pumpkins Are Imported From Europe
There's disappointment amongst children of all ages right across the country this evening, as the news filtered through that Halloween had been cancelled, after it was discovered that pumpkins are imported into the UK from Europe. The UK Food Agen...
Read full storyTrump Announces the Construction of a Luxury Prison
Washington, DC In the wake of several convicted felons, some of whom are personal friends of Donald Trump, the President has made an announcement to build several luxury prisons across the United States. "A luxury prison is something that this cou...
Read full storySir Paul Caught on Video Attempting to Buy Pot
WINGHAM, near Sandwich, Kent, England—A potentially embarrassing iPhone 10 video in which Paul McCartney is seen attempting to buy marijuana in the rural village of Wingham, Kent, is in the sweaty hands of local authorities. Those of you who haven't...
Read full storyGeneral Anesthesia Recommended for Majority of American Population
With over half of Americans regularly taking at least one prescription medication for either physical or psychological ailments or both, the Food and Drug Administration has recommended that the majority of the population simply be put under general...
Read full storyPhilosopher Brings Debate to Halt by Asking whether Scientology Opponent Is High
In a heated debate over the existence of God, free will, and fundamental life spirit, philosophy professor and outspoken atheist, Dr. Donald Cartwright, brought the discussion to a screeching halt by asking whether his debate opponent, Church of Scie...
Read full storyManchester United Could Be Facing Relegation Battle By Christmas
If Manchester United fans thought their heroes were up against it after their disappointing 1-1 draw with Arsenal at Old Trafford on Monday night, they would have been doubly so after checking the fixture list and seeing that next up is a tricky away...
Read full storyPropane-Driven Vape Pens Kill Three in Amish County
Bird in Hand, PA—News of the deaths of three unrelated Amish youths—Jacob Stolzfus, 18, Lucas Stolzfus, 19, and Cyrus Martin, 21—has exploded like after-market vape pens in this quaintly-named Amish community. The youth, who were all employed in the...
Read full storyAdverts Getting On Man's Tits
A man who has admitted he finds the world of advertising "somewhat distasteful" has spoken out about adverts he has encountered on a website he uses, and says they are starting to get on his fucking nerves. Moys Kenwood, 56, a writer on TheSpoof.c...
Read full storyMan's 'Lost' Glasses Turn Up Safe And Sound
A man who thought he had misplaced his reading spectacles and looked all over his house for them, is celebrating this evening after they subsequently turned up safe and sound - on his head! Moys Kenwood, 56, spent his evening between playing with...
Read full storyMan Describes Himself As An Organ Grinder
A medical man has raised eyebrows in literary circles this morning, and done himself no favors whatsoever, by casually and misguidedly referring to his good self as an 'organ grinder'. The literary doctor, who must remain nameless, labelled himsel...
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