Democrat Congress Condemns Cease-Fire in Mideast

Funny story written by Zabdgrov667

Friday, 25 October 2019

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The Political Elite plan to watch Apocalypse from their Billion $$$ Bunkers.

WASHINGTON DC - Politicians and elitist bureaucrats are still furious at President Trump for not using military equipment to spread death and chaos across the face of the earth. The Military-Industrial-Complex and the CIA have a long history of provoking war and seeking the overthrow of sovereign states through violent methods.

A "whistle-blower" from the CIA had been placed in the White House, and the recent Cease-Fire negotiations for the Turkish border with Syria were seen as evidence of "War Crimes and Existential Threats to Humanity." Democrats immediately called for Impeachment of the President, based on Anonymous "Ultra Double-Secret" reporting from the US Intelligence Community.

The anonymous testimony is so critical and sensitive to National Security that only Adam Schiff (Democrat-NY) in the House Intelligence Committee is allowed full access to the CIA allegations of White House misconduct. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (Democrat-CA) has "heard a dozen LEAKS" related to the Ultra Double-Secret White House Crimes, and declared that the President MUST be Impeached without a vote, because the CIA is the Ultimate Infallible Defender of Democracy and Truth.

One member of the US Intelligence Community is providing anonymous commentary on how dangerous the world has become without Hillary Clinton in the White House.

"Billy" (at some "Alphabet Agency"): "Hillary Clinton was THE MOST QUALIFIED Candidate of the 2016 Presidential Campaign.... Her actions during the Obama Administration show a Near-Perfect strategy for maintaining Global Peace.... President Obama used a massive bombing campaign against Libya in 2011, so that potential massacres could be prevented. Benghazi was a success that showed how a US Embassy can be destroyed, but violent American deaths can foster a sense of global togetherness. We lost track of how many millions of dollars of weapons were delivered to Freedom-Jihadists in Iraq and Syria, but it helped put the region in the Global Top 10 of Happy Places."

For people who live outside of Washington DC, there is conjecture about the possible motivations of the CIA, NSA, FBI, and career bureaucrats. President Donald Trump has NOT initiated global war - and failure to drop more US bombs on more countries, year after year, qualifies as Treason in the eyes of the Military-Industrial-Complex. President Donald Trump has NOT authorized Star-Chamber Trials with non-stop 100% surveillance of Americans (excluding spies and DC politicians) - and failure to act as a boot-licking puppet to an Orwellian Police-State-Shadow-Government qualifies as Treason in the eyes of Authoritarian Agents in the "Department of Justice."

Conspiracy Theory Experts Are Concerned

Ominous signs suggest that Donald Trump may possess a strange kind of extreme power which defies the laws of this universe. The name "Cthulhu" has been whispered by investigators of unexplained phenomena. We appear to be in a situation where EVERY Day is "The Apocalypse", and with no logical explanation, the next morning comes without any fire and brimstone.

One theory is that President Trump has colluded in "an unholy alliance of arcane destruction" to bring the APOCALYPSE through an Inverted Chaos Paradigm. An administrative associate of the Illuminati explained why it terrifies the political elites and billionaires.

"X" (Conspiracy Theory Expert): "In the NORMAL Apocalypse, Globalist Billionaires and Political Elites have WELL STOCKED Nuke-Resistant Bunkers with unlimited champagne, while the middle-class and poor die horrific and painful deaths.... However, the Inverted Chaos Paradigm Apocalypse affects the ordinary people last, so they still drive pickup trucks and drink beer as the End of the World approaches. For the Rich and Powerful, Apocalypse Inversion means that private jets don't fly, the power-cells to run underground bunkers stop providing electricity, and politicians go INSANE because no one cares about their promises or trillion-dollar plans."

In US Media, the overwhelming consensus is that we have to trust the CIA, and Trump's Mideast Cease-Fire is simply making the End-of-the-World far worse than an ordinary Extinction by Global-Warming. Only Impeachment and more US bombing of foreign countries can bring world peace.


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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