Man Teaches Crab A Lesson It Will Never Forget

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 29 October 2019

image for Man Teaches Crab A Lesson It Will Never Forget
The crab with a sullen look on its face

A man who was attacked by a crab, receiving a rather painful nip on the foot, reacted spontaeously and taught the beast a lesson it will never forget, for as long as it lives, which wasn't long.

The man was sitting quietly minding his own business, and watching his two children playing at the front of his house in the Battambang commune of Tapon yesterday afternoon, when the incident happened.

He takes up the story:

"I was watching the kids on their bikes, when, all of a sudden, I felt this, er, excrutiating pain on my left foot. I looked down and saw a giant crab, about two inches long."

He shook the offender off, and, being a teacher, decided to teach it a lesson "it would never forget" for as long as it lived.

"I stood up, and booted it into the low brick wall that surrounds the garden," he said. "I could see that bits had fallen off, such as a pincer and a claw. One of its legs was also detached."

His initial outrage had subsided, but, he reasoned, what was the point of stopping now? There would be no future for a disabled crab. He said:

"I told it: 'That's what you get for attacking an innocent man minding his own business, watching his kids playing in the garden', and it just kind of looked at me, all sheepish and sullen."

Later, after the photo above had been taken for posterity, he stood on his chair, then jumped on it from a height of about two feet.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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