Harry Maguire: Man Utd Team Reading Works Of Existentialist Albert Camus

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 11 October 2019

image for Harry Maguire: Man Utd Team Reading Works Of Existentialist Albert Camus
A selection of 'classic literature' left behind by Jose Mourinho

Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England defender, is so absolutely hacked-off with things at Old Trafford, what with poor performances and the 'Ole Gunnar Solskjaer situation', that he is suffering from depression, and has taken to reading the works of French-Algerian existentialist writer, Albert Camus.

Maguire, 26, signed for United in July for £80million, and had the world at his feet, but, three months on, he is 'down in the dumps', and, with his team lagging well behind the other front runners in the Premier League in twelfth position with only nine points, he is struggling to understand his place in the cosmos.

As well as Maguire, other players have been 'looking more deeply into things'.

Harry, who has always been an avid reader, has delved into 'The Myth Of Sisyphus', with its philosophy of the absurd, and man's futile search for meaning, unity, and clarity in the face of an unintelligible world.

Mason Greenwood, United's 17-year-old striker has been casually leafing through 'The Stranger', with its themes of alienation and indifference. When asked about the intolerable situation being endured by boss, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, and the torment he is suffering, Greenwood said:

"What torment?"

Paul Pogba spends most of his free time reading 'La Peste' ('The Plague'), which is more a work of fiction than a philosophical text, with vast tracts often pointedly resonating as a stark allegory of phenomenal consciousness.

The dour nature of Camus' work perfectly suits the mood in the Old Trafford dressing room at the present time. The atmosphere is saturated in a kind of grim tension, and the whole team seems as if it is in a state of mass-introversion. Even the weather in the city provides a kind of Camusian backdrop for unfolding events.

Witnesses have already said that former boss, Jose Mourinho, could regularly be seen flicking through Camus' 'A Happy Death', published in 1972, ten years after the author's own death, but rumours that Solskjaer is reading 'The Fall' are currently unsubstantiated.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more