New App Helps You Learn A New Language In As Little As Two Years

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 27 October 2019

image for New App Helps You Learn A New Language In As Little As Two Years
DIY: Get on the plane; go there; listen; speak

A new phone app on the market next month enables you to learn and speak a new language fluently - to native speaker standard - in as little as two years, it has been claimed.

The app - DIY - explores a revolutionary new method of learning, which, it claims, is the ONLY guaranteed way of coming to terms with learning a new language.

The creators say there is no magic secret to the problem of learning to speak a foreign language, and the app makes this clear. There are no outlandish 14-day claims, and no magic way of acquiring the language without a lot of hard graft.

There are, it says, four simple steps:

• Go to the country where the language is spoken, and stay there
• Listen carefully to what the locals say
• Speak, using only the foreign language
• Be prepared to make as many mistakes as it takes

The only time the word 'amazing' appears in the product's sales adverisements is where it states that:

"it's amazing that anyone is dull enough to think they can master a language any other way."

A final piece of advice is given:

Don't believe apps that say you can learn a new language with a phone app in 14 days.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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