Harry Maguire Helps England Almost Draw

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 12 October 2019

image for Harry Maguire Helps England Almost Draw
Where is it all going wrong for Harry?

It turned out not to be England's night last night, after they were beaten by a late, late goal to lose 2-1 to the Czech Republic in Prague.

The Three Lions took the lead through a Harry Kane penalty after 5 minutes, but one can't help thinking it was too much for Gareth Southgate's boys to hang on for the next 85 minutes, and Brabec equalised four minutes later.

After that, England played appallingly, were pedestrian, looked off-the-pace, uninterested, tired, and in need of easier opposition such as San Marino or Gibraltar. It seemed, to many, as if this was the first time that the England players had met each other, and their dishevelled and substandard performances reflected this.

It was no surprise, then, when Ondrasek popped up with five minutes left, to win the game for the Czechs.

One beacon of light was Manchester United star, Harry Maguire. He did nothing wrong, made some clearances with his head, some tackles with his feet, and did not give away any penalties.

Gary Southgate must be filling his pants in fear, in case a good quality team turns up to expose England's leaky defence.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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