Toilet Plunger Was 'Sent From God'

Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 27 October 2019

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The Gift from God earlier

A man who bought a toilet plunger to be able to deal with his family's constantly-blocked toilet, has described the item as "an invaluable purchase", and "an absolute Godsend".

The problem with the toilet at the home of Moys Kenwood, 56, may not have been the toilet itself, rather than what was dumped into it.

Hence, the plunger purchase.

Shopping for groceries in the Chinese supermarket in Battambang, Kenwood's eyes fell upon the plunger with its 16-inch green plastic handle and sturdy black rubber cup, and, at a cost of only $2, he didn't hesitate.

The acquisition could not have been more timely.

Just two days later, a bout of something rather nasty descended on the Kenwood family, and resulted in several frantic visits to the bathroom to 'purge their tanks'.

This, inevitably, blocked the toilet.

Kenwood takes up the story:

"It was a mess, to be frank. Without going into too much detail, there was faeces almost up to the rim of the bowl. A sticky, muddy, brown mass that was going to prove difficult to shift. And, I might add, fucking stank."

But help was at hand: the $2 toilet plunger.

"I poured a bucket of water in, and then rammed the plunger in as hard as I could. Water spilled onto the carpet, and splashed my face and clothes, but I was determined to move it, so I kept plunging until I heard a gurgling sound, and then everything disappeared, including my dignity."

Later, after a shower with disinfectant, Kenwood said:

"It's one of those items that we tend to forget about, and that rarely gets the credit it deserves, but I advise all readers to have one handy, just in case. Without it, we'd have been in the shit, up to our eyeballs. It truly was, a Gift from God."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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