Racist Bulgarian Ultras So Disgusted, They Left At Halftime

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 15 October 2019

image for Racist Bulgarian Ultras So Disgusted, They Left At Halftime
"We were never in the game," said one Ultra

There was another easy three points for the England football team in Sofia last night, as Gareth Southgate's boys absolutely annihilated Bulgaria by a trouncingly-reassuring 6-0 scoreline, settling fans' nerves after last week's poor show in the Czech Republic.

Ross Barkley and Raheem Sterling both scored twice after Marcus Rashford's early strike, with Harry Kane also getting on the scoresheet with five minutes left, as England retained top spot in their Euro 2020 Group.

The big talking point, however, was the awful performance of the Bulgarian team. They were dreadful, something not lost on their fans.

One, who was clad from head-to-toe in black, with a black mask covering most of his face, gave a Nazi-style salute, as he mumbled:

"We strzacywzwrt (unintelligible)."

Another, dressed similarly, said:

"They were dreadful. England were far superior in every department, and in every area of the pitch. We were never in the game."

He said he had left at halftime, so disappointed was he. Others said they also felt they couldn't stomach their team's substandard performance.

Karadan Wankic, a self-confessed Right-wing Ultra Fascist, offered:

"Bulgaria were woeful. It was like men against boys. I left at halftime, because I'm scared of the dark. I'm a bit of a tosspot, really."

And yet another racist Ultra, 13-year-old Timmy Wankov, said:

"I had to go at halftime. Mum told me to be home by ten o'clock."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more