Nancy Pelosi to star as Blanche in Off-Broadway re-make of “A Streetcar Named Desire”

Written by joseph k winter

Sunday, 20 October 2019

image for Nancy Pelosi to star as Blanche in Off-Broadway re-make of “A Streetcar Named Desire”
Ms. Pelosi chose to modify her image somewhat for the role

Ms. Pelosi is reported enthused over this role, especially due to Representative Schiff taking the part of Stanley Kowalski, formerly performed by Marlon Brando.

Mr. Schiff does a variation on the muscular Brando via his eyes, which bulge and protrude “with strength and versatility.”

Ms. Pelosi is taken in by the Kowalskis in a fit of despair over the 2020 presidential election, which is not going well due to impeachment enquiries.

The new version of “Streetcar” has been named “A Streetcar Named Impeachment.”

The role of Mrs. Kowalski was considered by Elizabeth Warren, but eventually taken by Representative Maxine Waters.

Mrs. Kowalski is not abused, nor is Blanche assaulted by Stanley, although Mr. Schiff confessed at a late night staff party following the opening performance “he would like to.”

This confession was immediately retracted, with Mr. Biden rushing in to assist damage control on this matter.

“No, no, no,” Mr. Biden insisted. “Mr. Schiff did not say he was attracted to Blanche, despite being married to Mrs. Kowalski.”

“Mr. Schiff was referring to how he would like to be on the board of Burisma Holdings in the Ukraine, as with my son Hunter. But I told him I no longer have any influence in that area!”

An outstanding moment in this performance comes in a dance-song combo with Ms. Pelosi and Mr. Schiff in a “torrid embrace in the kitchen.”

Lyrics:

You must have been a beautiful baby
You must have been a beautiful child

When you were only startin’
The boys around were fartin’
You know you drove them little guys wild!

And when it came to winning blue ribbons
You showed the rest of congress just how

Impeachment off the table,
Until you made it able
With Trump and Zelensky in deep sh*t now!

You must have been a beautiful baby
‘Come on, baby, take a bow!

The New York Times has reviewed the performance as “Sparkling and brilliant, restoring hope to America and its politicians for the first time since Barack Obama left office.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more