Madison Square Garden, NYC. By Woof Blister, reporting for SIN, Spoof International News. Before a capacity crowd of 20,789 agitated partisans, the long-anticipated Great Debate between those supporting the right to vape Ecigarettes and their opponents seeking a complete ban on the product, took place last night here at The Garden.
From my seat in the last row of the highest tier, the two debaters were barely visible through the blue haze, as at least half of the onlookers vaped vociferously through the evening. The Garden's "no smoking" ban was lifted for this event.
The pro-vaping speaker, Etaoin Shrdlu, who happens to be seeking the Democratic nomination for president, made the most telling point when he argued that "If burning an American flag is protected as an expression of free speech, vaping as an expression of one's beliefs must also be protected by the Constitution's First Amendment."
The roar of approval that followed Shrdlu's statement equaled any that would accompany a Knick's game-winning, buzzer-beating, half-court basket. The uproar was so great and continuous, that the debate ceased at that point.
Half a dozen vapers were carried unconscious from the arena during the debate, apparently victims of lung failure of one sort or another.