A recent ground-breaking discovery has discovered that pedophilia is linked to a mineral deficiency in the brain.
According to Dr. James Harpington of Area Research Center in Reasonville, "We have determined that sex offenders tend to lack sufficient levels of lead in the brain."
Research says that due to the blood-brain barrier and how this mineral interacts with the brain, the mineral must be directly applied to the brain at a high velocity using a special application device.
Harpington says, "I made the discovery when I caught an intruder in my daughter's room, and I applied this cure in the nick of time. The results were fast. After giving him a high-velocity injection with a lead slug to the brain, he never offended again."
Authorities warn that the applicator device requires a license in many parts of the world and that only physicians should prescribe the use of the applicator except in exigent circumstances. Sergeant Branson of Reasonville says, "The applicator device and the doses should only be purchased from licensed distributors."
