Halloween Cancelled After News That Pumpkins Are Imported From Europe

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 30 October 2019

image for Halloween Cancelled After News That Pumpkins Are Imported From Europe
A selection of imported scumbag European pumpkins

There's disappointment amongst children of all ages right across the country this evening, as the news filtered through that Halloween had been cancelled, after it was discovered that pumpkins are imported into the UK from Europe.

The UK Food Agency revealed, this afternoon, that Holland, Belgium, Luxemburg, France and Germany all export pumpkins to the UK.

Pumpkins are an essential part of Halloween celebrations. They are hollowed-out, a wicked-looking face is carved into the outer skin, and - once it gets dark - a candle is lit and placed inside the pumpkin to make it look scary, like Boris Johnson.

The Prime Minister took the extraordinary step of banning Halloween earlier, and, to reflect the incredibly medieval nature of UK politics at the moment, anyone found celebrating it with a pumpkin will be hung, drawn and quartered, with their head thereafter being placed on a pike at Tower Bridge.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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