AZ Alkmaar Consider Sacking Boss After Failure To Beat Manchester United

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 4 October 2019

image for AZ Alkmaar Consider Sacking Boss After Failure To Beat Manchester United
Windmills came to a standstill after the result

Club executives at AZ Alkmaar are, this morning, involved in an emergency high-level meeting over the future of the oddly-named team boss, Arne Slot, after last night's game against Manchester United, which ended 0-0.

Slot, which is pronounced by the Dutch as 'Slut', has been in charge of AZ only three months, and already looks like he may be on his way out, after his charges were unable to break down the team that, just last week, failed to overcome League One side Rochdale in the Carabao Cup. That game finished 1-1, with United having to rely on penalties to finally dislodge their Lancashire rivals.

One fan, who emerged from the stadium wearing clogs at the final whistle, said:

"We can't even beat Manchester United. What a sad reflection on the state of the game in the Netherlands!" *

In this morning's newspapers, the Dutch press refer to the AZ performance as "drab", "inept", and "pathetic", amid calls for Slot's head.

Not literally, you understand.

United boss, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, was reported to be monitoring the situation closely.

* Holland

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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