Racist Bulgarian Ultras Strike Again In England's Heartland

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 20 October 2019

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An inquiry is underway as to who issued these mindless louts UK visas

The racism that England players so bravely put up with, turned the other cheek to, and ultimately vanquished, reared its ugly head once more yesterday, this time on home turf, as an exciting FA Cup fourth qualifying round game was ruined by hordes of travelling Bulgarian Ultras.

The unlikely setting for the outrage was the Coles Park Stadium, the home of Isthmian League side, Haringey Borough, who were taking on Yeovil Town. Things were relatively quiet until Yeovil were awarded a penalty in the 64th minute.

This was the flashpoint.

Haringey goalkeeper, Valery Douglas Pagetat, from Cameroon, became the target of a hail of racial abuse, bottle throwing, spitting, and monkey noises from a section of the Yeovil support behind his goal.

The protagonists were dressed in black, and had Eastern European accents.

They looked well dodgy.

Borough boss Tom Loizou could stand no more, and walked his team off the field, saying he was disgusted that this could happen in 2019, and in England, the most civilized and multicultural place on Earth.

The game was abandoned with the score at 1-0 to Yeovil.

Yeovil fans we spoke to at the stadium supported the walk-off. One said:

"There's no place in football for that; no room for racism. And that, by the way, requires a semi-colon."

Another said:

"It wasn't us. It was those bloody Bulgarians. They're all the bloody same!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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