Washington, DC In the wake of several convicted felons, some of whom are personal friends of Donald Trump, the President has made an announcement to build several luxury prisons across the United States.
"A luxury prison is something that this country has needed for a long time. What if you have a very high-quality person who has been wrongly convicted of fake crimes? You don't want to send this high-quality person to a regular, rat-infested person. The new prison suites will have walk-in closets, king-sized beds, and all the other luxury features you can think of" said Trump in an early-morning tweet.
"You just never knew who might be falsely convicted and if this is the case, the least we can do is give them good prison quarters. We don't want to put them in cages like those evil immigrant children" tweeted Trump.
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi denied that the U.S. needs luxury prisons and that Donald Trump, once he is caught and convicted, will be sent to "normal prison."