Encylopedia of Pretexts for Politics and Business due out by Christmas on Amazon dot com

Written by joseph k winter

Thursday, 24 October 2019

image for Encylopedia of Pretexts for Politics and Business due out by Christmas on Amazon dot com
Also in the book: "Security depends on, er, our foreign policy"

This newly-established encyclopedia already shows massive pre-sales, with release date December 24.

It bears an array of acknowledgements on its title page:

“Fascism is the cockroach of contemporary politics—even a nuclear war will not kill it!” comes directly from the pen of a gate-guard at George W. Bush’s estate.

“When he said he would tell only the least untruthful truth, he did so with hand on heart to protect The State!” is proffered by former DNI James Clapper’s housemaid of forty-two years.

“She meant every last word of ‘we came, we saw, he died' as essential to regime change!” was muttered in his sleep by Bill Clinton (captured by Bedroom Surveillance Systems).

Under the category Pretexts for Systematic Public Brainwashing and Demonizing of Whistleblowers, the Assange case is offered as a sterling example.

Magistrate Baraitser and QC James Lewis set the tone here, with "facial expressions modeled from the Herman Goering era.”

Overall objective: Threaten journalism and maintain public awareness at sleep/sheep levels.

Step 1: Take an ordinary case of a journalist acting like a journalist (i.e. publishing State Crimes provided to him by a whistleblower) and place prisoner in horrible cell for 23 hours a day.

Step 2: Psychological torture is okay (see acknowledgements a-z from supporting politicians on both sides of the Atlantic).

Step 3: Via the corporate press, insinuate that the issue is “aiding the enemy” instead of what it really is—covering your ass for crimes and hideous behavior you authorized and unfortunately allowed into public view.

Under Pretexts for War and Serving the Neoliberal World Order:

Step 1: Use corporate press to insinuate “devious and criminal peril” must be eliminated in Target Country (objective: further territorial control and economic advantage).

Step 2: Always remember the precept, “the rich getting richer” is the dominant modus operandi for any foreign policy decisions and use of war tools such as—

a) economic sanctions;
b) use of gullible tribes in the region as proxies;
c) using other nations’ militaries while boosting your own military budget under this particular pretext.

Under Pretexts That The Voting Public Really Makes A Difference:

Step 1: Hold an election and pretend the outcome is legitimate and will be honorably followed, not fooled with and obfuscated from within the deep state apparatus.

Step 2: As with modeling from Adolf Hitler, assure the world your intentions are always directed at: a) peace; b) security; c) national well-being, instead of empowering a megalomaniac or enriching the coffers of plutocracy in general.

Step 3: Use the UK’s Brexit model for delaying the results of an election by fooling with proceedings year after year, and reversing results.

This monumental encyclopedia at 2000 pages is authored from a think-tank titled ROPP (The Rights Of Power And Profit, affectionately known by insiders as "rope-a-dope") and ends with the inspirational words--

“Never let another cockroach pass your door without saluting it!”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more